Them women creatures

Today is International Women's Day (IWD), this year endorsed by Richard Keys and Andy Gray, or as they call it here in Australia, Patronise a Sheila Day. It is also pancake day. So to honour this a famous suffragette should now be known as Emmeline Pankcake.

So ladies! Why not mark IWD by making the men in your life some pancakes. Because we're all useless tossers.

Is the fact that there is an IWD at all tacit admission that the other 364 belong to men?

Seriously, don't go worrying your pretty little heads about IWD or take what I write to heart. IWD is a great chance to reflect on the important and undervalued role played by women in socie....ooooh, look, SHOES!

A lot has been achieved since IWD 1992, especially in terms of female spelling.

And I am sure Dom Blonde will claim that IWD is another victory for Bogg Society. Pancake Day certainly is.

Joking aside women are very important and apparently new research has revealed that half or the world's population is now female. Incredible. Yet the singer Annie Lennox tells us today that women perform 66% of world's work, earn 10% of income and own 1% of the world's property. That is outrageous. 10% is far too high. And Annie Lennox is one to talk. She was in a band where Dave Stewart did 66% of the work and she got 90% of the credit.

I see that today of all days there were no women speaking at the Funding the Future of the Event Organisers Who Must be Men conference. This is a disgrace as there is plenty of high profile totty in senior positions in the sector who I will patronise by calling them gorgeous. Surely it wouldn't have been too difficult to stick a couple of them up on stage, on a pedestal, so delegates could politely listen to their views.

Right, that's enough blatant sexism masquerading as irony - half of us have work to do - we can't all sit around having an international day.

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday and I may give up Lent. Or I may give up pancakes and international women. But will I find a decent church here in Australia where I can get my forehead grubby?