Boggmas Gampvent calendar - 24th Dec

Here it is, the final piece in this 24 bit online jigsaw. I am supposed to be issuing my Boggmas Message blog at 3pm tomorrow (with 140 character summary on Twitter) but I expect I will be fast asleep by then, gorged to the eyeballs on fizz and cheese, Barkles laying contentedly at my feet. Merry Christmas.

Boggmas Gampvent calendar - 23rd Dec

We all know that Rihanna is my ultimate bird. Or is she??? Click here for today's advent adventure.

Boggmas Gampvent calendar - 22nd Dec

I haven't got a drink problem despite always maintaining I haven't got a drink problem even though no one is saying I have. OK? Right, who fancies a nice Xmas tipple? Click here to enjoy a warming festive beverage.

Televised debates

I hereby challenge Hubert Carrington of NCVO and Dylan Twirley of NAVCA to a televised debate on the future of the umbrella sector, sometime in the New Year. If we can't secure any coverage from a major channel we could arrrange to have a mass brawl (in which Maxwell, Crikey's replacement, Twomore, Allcock-And-Bull, Hoxton, Sloe....anyone really) and flog it to Bravo or somebody. Let's get serious and start using X Factor politics or populist entertainment to promote effective brolly leadership. That's reality, folks.

The power of online campaigning

Some of you may have seen the media excitement about this year's battle for Xmas number 1. Not since St Winifred's School Choir hymned the virtues of Grandmas has there been so much resting on who would gain the coveted seasonal single bragging rights. Basically, an online campaign run through forums and twitter was established to stop evil Simon Cowell's hand-held X Factor winner gaining top spot for the fifth year runner by virtue of people being too stupid to realise that vapid karaoke was not the real deal.

The logical alternative was to suggest a song by radical noise merchants Rage Against the Machine (Killing in the name of) as a witty riposte. So it boiled down to buying something cos its singer won X Factor and we are all sheep or downloading something cos an organised campaign told us to. Plus de la difference or something. And I dunno what people were supposed to do if they liked them both (unlikely admittedly).

But the campaign worked and was hailed as a victory for people power and nu-media and real music - a nod to the days when the Xmas number 1 was about quality and proper artists such as Bob the Builder and Mr Blobby and Cliff and need I go on? Apparently nearly 50 people who downloaded the RATM ditty actually listened to it and 14 quite liked it.

Therefore I have decided to establish a similar campaign to try and influence the result of this year's Premiership. I am fed up with Chelsea or Man Utd winning simply by virtue of having the cash to buy better players. I think if we harness the collective power of twitter etc we CAN elevate the Oxford United (naturally) team from 1992/93 to top spot in English football's elite league. Look at their squad here. People like Jim Magilton can still cut it I am sure with twitter behind them.

And then after that we could perhaps use this new found combined muscle to influence things that really matter.

The 132nd posh lunch of the year and giving a toss

My first official function after my op was a, surprise surprise, luncheon. We were very fortunate to have as guest speaker the erudite man of God, the Bishop of Chartres, Dick London. I am not one to go round bashing bishops and he was dressed exactly as a priest should be, decked out in expensive finery and symbolism, not like these apologies of modern priests you see dressed normally in jeans and T-shirts. Incidentally, Dick was commenting on how organised religion has become marginalised but I can't see why this should be so.

We were hosted by those shrewd custodians of many of the umbrella sector assets, CCLAPD Blue, who must be doing very nicely despite the recession if the food and chablis on show was anything to go by. Once again, I fail to see the slightest shred of irony in an event discussing how to address the problems of the world while participants trough top quality food and drink. It simply isn't true that this attitude and divisiveness in society is part of the problem in the first place.

The Bish had some interesting stats on levels of tax relief he has been able to secure from those stingy gits at the Treasury. I may have to enlist him in our tortuous campaign to secure greater tax relief on the purchase of brollies as gifts that I think we have, no pun intended, a God given right to receive without actually having to do any work in encouraging the taxpayer themselves to buy into the scheme. I am getting very cross about this now and if the government doesn't decide what they are going to do I am going to start using words such as "arse" in my blog.

Anyone would think the Treasury was simply trying to keep as much money as possible for themselves to spend on stuff. I received a very patronising letter from some stuffed shirt at the Treasury that had the temerity to suggest that I read some report or another. Well I shan't, so there. Instead I will stamp my foot and demand that the government gives us the loot. It's an approach that has never worked before but like a stubborn child I will persist. Why? Just, because.

Boggmas Gampvent calendar - 21st Dec

James Purnell threw a Xmas party last week for all of his friends in government. It was going pretty badly and then I turned up. An uninvited gatecrasher. And took this picture.