tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2832721168283084242024-03-14T04:14:45.061+00:00SIR BOGG'S BLUBA WARTS'N'ALL INSIGHT INTO THE LIFE OF THE KNIGHTED HEAD OF THE UMBRELLA BODY FOR UMBRELLAS. HIS BLOG IS PART OF THE NATIONAL BLAG ARCHIVE.Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.comBlogger563125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-21582020816944603132012-09-07T16:25:00.000+01:002012-09-07T17:07:20.641+01:00Open letter to new Umbrella Commission chair, Billy ShortshriftOIIIIII, BILLY SHORTSHRIFT. YOU WANT SOME? DO? YOU? WANT? SOME? HEY? COS I'M A BIT TASTY IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.<br />
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I don't mean it personally, Billy. But I find it's always best to try and impose yourself on new regulators, set your stall out, show no weakness. In case they try and regulate against you.<br />
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Now Billy, I am sure you are very capable and nice and things but be a good boy and keep your right wing opinions and thoughts to yourself and just get on with regulating.<br />
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Unless it is in an area where it suits me for you not to regulate. In those instances, stop regulating. Turning a blind eye to trustee payments would be a cracking start. And any comments in my blog that could be construed as political campaigning.<br />
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Don't worry, I will constantly remind you of what you should be doing in my blog whether you like it or not.<br />
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Good luck Billy. You're gonna need it pal.<br />
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Yours<br />
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Sir Robin Bogg<br />
(Ex Oxford, naturally, like you wink wink)<br />
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Footnote:<br />
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Thanks for those who offered suggestions for Billy's Boggname.<br />
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My old mucker Lester Twomore, head honcho at the Brolly Lottery Fund (which should be renamed the Bogg Lottery Fund in my honour - like the lottery any impact and positive effect I have on good causes is purely incidental to the fact that really what I am about is a load of balls) offered Will.I.Am Deffoangry and I was myself toying with Will.I.Am YoFoShizzleX. (one for the hip happening musically clued up kool kidzs, like Lester).<br />
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And on a similar theme an anonymous person thought Wilhelm Abidingly-Querulous (ABQ to his Eton and Oxford chums) would be a good one.<br />
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But the glory almost goes to Don Peck (@commoncapital on Twitter) who inspired the Shortshrift moniker with his idea of Grill Shortcrust.<br />
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<br />Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-44170514707330538212012-09-03T07:59:00.003+01:002012-09-03T07:59:35.513+01:00New chair at Umbrella CommissionIt seems that the Umbrella Commission is about to appoint a new chair to succeed Dame Luci Vinyl. The lucky chap who my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb would call William Shawcross [INSERT BOGG NAME - SUGGESTIONS WELCOME - NO PRIZES, JUST GLORY] was educated at Eton, and more importantly, Oxford, naturally. What could possibly go wrong in having someone with such a background at the helm?Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-55993120612877923962012-08-30T16:29:00.000+01:002012-08-30T16:29:40.552+01:00Keeping me in my old ageIt's a commonplace to observe that umbrella ownership is often highly
unrepresentative. Too many men. Too white (the owners that is not the brollies. They're usually black). And often too old. And quite right too. The age issue is an interesting one. Clearly older people are better as they have more gamp owning experience. But there are very few
young people involved in gamp governance.<br />
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Recently I came across an organisation, "Young Canopy Crusties" and it's (you'd think with my Oxford, naturally, education I would know my apostrophe from my elbow) dynamic founder Felix Swift. This young whippersnapper is suggesting that more young people need to be involved in umbrella governance. Is he mad? Sure, if we get to pay people for brolly board membership then the young will expect less leaving more loot for the rest of us but surely what we need is even older gamp governors and canopy crusties. How else am I going to carry on living in the style to which I am accustomed when BUBB finally get rid of me? (Next year if you're wondering).<br />
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The same thing applies to old brollies. Just because you're bit broken, smell musty and leak everywhere it doesn't mean you're on the scrapheap. As I am living proof of.<br />
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Speaking of which, it was good to see umbrellas feature prominently in the opening ceremony at the Paralympics. Even if your spokes are broken you can still perform at a decent level and the brolly bits were all down to my role as chair of the ROBOG organising committee.<br />
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I am now spending a few days in Devon bothering my family, and specifically mentioning the relatives who went to Oxford, naturally. This part of Devon miraculously remains a hidden gem despite me mentioning in my blog every year. Or perhaps because I do.Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-81198445449735292802012-08-01T15:16:00.001+01:002012-08-01T15:16:14.433+01:00Outrageous appointment by Umbrella Commission - and the BoggympicsI am shocked and outraged that the Umbrella Commission has appointed some Dead Wood as interim chair to replace Dame Luci Vinyl until a permanent appointment is made. If they wanted someone who could pretend to fill in on a part time basis (while being paid a nice little retainer authorised by the Umbrella Commission - these cushy non-exec roles won't pay themselves you know, not unless I have anything to do with it) then surely I should have been the prime candidate.<br />
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Other than that, BUBB is fully caught up in the fervour of the Boggympics. There has been plenty of rain so far and a chance to show the British brolly wielding public at its best. And I have set myself up as ROBOG so I can take over the organisation of the games. For a start I shall be filling those empty seats with patriotic umbrellas to add a splash of colour. Go Team BOGGB!!!<br />
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<br />Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-21555773227322147742012-07-18T12:01:00.000+01:002012-07-18T12:02:14.430+01:00Employment issues<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">It's not often I write on HR stuff - my employment policy is well known. Recruit from Oxford, naturally, let them do all the donkey work and clear up the mess I leave behind, which I can then take credit and knighthoods for.</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">The umbrella sector is lucky to be able to attract highly talented and committed gamps thanks to headhunters such as DONALD HOLDING. P</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">oliticians sometimes forget we employ large numbers of staff. The Brolly Sector Research Centre estimates 1.1 million! And this could grow even more if I get my way and all trustees are paid.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">(I note that Sir Hubert is causing a stink about the paid trustee thing claiming that BUBB was the only sector voice shouting for it. Tough titty Hubert old fruit. If you can't get enough high profile trusteeships to make it worth your while supporting this proposal that is your look out.)</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I doubt many umbrellas have given much thought to how they will be employed during the Olympics but if it pisses down like it has happily been all summer they could well need proper advice. And it is worrying that there will be a shortage of umbrellas used to provide security from wet weather at the games despite there being many available to take on this role. It is disgraceful that the Army will be used to provide precipitation cover and the controversial siting of massive umbrellas on top of Council blocks was also badly thought through. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">It is also a concern that a number of athletes have been lost on transport en route from Heathrow to Stratford and have ended up at the TfL Lost Property Office on Baker St like so many brollies do every day.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">But umbrellas caught up in the whole circus can get advice thanks to an invaluable corporate partner BUBB has used to develop HR sagacity as a free service. So it is only right that I should give Trellis Shittam a free plug in my blog though they have begged me not to for fear of negative publicity by association.</span>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-9478932287995653482012-07-16T12:22:00.002+01:002012-07-16T12:25:30.445+01:00Hotchpotch review of canopies!Well done to Lord Hotchpotch who has published his scattergun review of the Canopies Act. On the whole a very sensible set of recommendations and proposals as they agree with stuff what I have been championing - indeed Hotchpotch nicked all of the stuff on the history of umbrellas from my own lectures (which I actually made up but there you go).<br />
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I am delighted about the suggestion that people can be paid to look after large umbrellas without needing permission from the Umbrella Commission. Not large sums of course. After all if you look after lots of umbrellas even small payments will soon rack up. I for one will be seeking to make a tidy packet as a professional trustee of brollies.<br />
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Also good to see gubbins to encourage more social investment which I have always been keen to promote to my members for reasons that are completely unconnected to my other entirely distinct role as chair of Brolly Investment Business.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">And it is quite right that Umbrella Commission regulation should be made more flexible. After all by sometimes criticising them for doing too much regulating and sometimes saying they aren't regulating enough depending on what the issue is and how it affects me I have shown I can be flexible in how I view Umbrella Commission regulation. </span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: inherit;">I have been very quiet recently on the blogging front as I have been working behind the scenes to try and ensure the plans to reform the House of Lords make provision for me securing a peerage. But to no avail.</span><br />
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Still at least that bastard Rob Diamante has been kicked out of Barclays. Though it would be incredibly amusing if I were to say without a shred of irony in my blog (as my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb did) that <span class="Apple-style-span" style="line-height: 18px;">it is important not to think that "if only we get rid of some at the top we will be able to move on".</span>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-75510432704303571332012-06-18T09:26:00.001+01:002012-06-19T14:49:27.917+01:00Outed?My spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb is teasing me, saying he thinks he spotted me at the Canopy Awards last week following information he received from a certain Matthew Thompson or Mark Luke and John Supergrass to give him his correct name - CEO of something to do with umbrella recyclin). But I am not convinced Bubb was even there. Sure, there was someone who looked like him who was bothering my Great Aunt Maud while the Great Man was trying to quietly eat his dinner and secretly fill his jerry can with left overs but they weren't wearing a white dinner jacket so can't have been the real thing. Perhaps my spoofer has a spoof spoofer<br />
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I might well have been on table 50 as Sir Stephen suggests but that could mean I am Nick Hancock or Steve Punt. Or Dylan Twirley.<br />
<br />Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-57407220771539505012012-06-14T11:08:00.001+01:002012-06-14T11:11:43.595+01:00Mutton dressed as spamWalt Mutton-Dressed-As-Spam looked a bit surprised. Horrified even. He had just spotted me sitting at the back of the room in a seminar for students at Hertford College, Oxford, naturally, where he is principal. He somehow managed to land this cushy academic role when despite his prowess as an economic guru he managed to almost bankrupt the Shirk Foundation through the size of his CEO's salary. The state we're in, indeed. He was hosting a session on the Olympics with Vanessa Doublechin MP (who can be credited with bringing them to the UK whatever Boris tries to claim. Or Seb Coe. Or any of the people who actually did help bring the sodding huge waste of money corporate circus to this country. Honestly what with that and the Jubilee, to save time and money they should just have set fire to the Queen and carted her round the country instead of the torch).<br />
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I was up in Oxford, naturally, for a few days staying with my nephew Alex who is doing his PhD As I told Alex I knew Vanessa before she was even born! Never really off duty I get an email from the office to see if I want to respond to a loony report from the ineptly named "Institute of Gamponomic Affairs". About sock puppets. This individually and corporate funded sock puppet brolly organisation are whinging about state funded sock puppet brollies (though brollies make terrible sock puppets, and sock puppets make even worse umbrellas). <br />
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Apparently state funded sock puppets were used to further Labour priorities and should be stopped, which is no way the conclusion of a right leaning sock puppet seeking to further its own political priorities from beneath the canopy of supposed independence. They make the assumption that because they receive no government money they are automatically impartial and of course it is wholly correct to say that the cash of wealthy individuals or corporates has NEVER influenced anything EVER so they must be unbiased.<br />
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I decide can't be arsed to respond to something so silly as it only encourages them, a philosophy I am pleased my own opponents don't always adhere to.<br />
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I met up with the new Cabinet Secretary on Friday evening. As I said to Jammy Strawman as he ushered me into his office quickly in case anyone noticed he is my 54th Cabinet Secretary. I only hope he wasn't accidentally given briefing notes about my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb by mistake. An urbane, smart and likeable person I am not. But Jammy is and holds an important position of influence. I have always found it good to develop strong relations with the top of the civil service by brown-nosing shamelessly about them being urbane, smart and likeable in my blog even if they are not.</div>
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And tonight, will it be the night when I finally win the outstanding leadership award at the Canopy Awards at the Gampsvenor Hotel in London? I have a spontaneous 4 hour speech prepared just in case. Though no doubt the organisers and judges will wriggle out of honouring me by saying I can just share the award Sir Hubert won a while back when I move into his box room later this year. If you do see me tonight please say hello and remember the code word - "peerage".</div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-82132212146961945412012-06-11T10:24:00.001+01:002012-06-12T07:56:42.829+01:00Abandoned in the pub by CameronWell, how embarrassing. As you may know, David Cameron is my local MP in Blacbury. I often see him out and about - riding someone else's horse in Lidl, for example - and am never shy of giving him some advice on running the country. Some of which, unfortunately, he has heeded.<br />
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A couple of months ago I bumped into him on Sunday lunchtime at the pub. I sat down with him and his family, uninvited, and started haranguing him about the brolly tax nonsense. After a couple of hours of this I ducked off to the toilet for 15 minutes. When I got back to the table he had done a runner! Just left me there. Heartless.<br />
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It could have been worse. His daughter Nancy had been badgering him to buy her a Hannah Montana umbrella and he left her in the pub as well when she went for a wee. He now claims he had just forgotten her as he was "too chillaxed" but I know the truth. It's just lucky for her he hadn't taken her to Amnesty International where she may have become falsely imprisoned in their toilets like I did once.<br />
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<b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">As you might expect the press are making a right fuss about it, ignoring his treatment of me and focusing on the 8 year old. Mind you, it is Nancy I feel sorry for in all of this. Poor girl. They came back for her. Another embarrassing u-turn from Cameron.</span></b><br />
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The Tory faithful and Etonian elite will be disgusted with Cameron. Where was the au pair? Though it does at least provide evidence of a government move away from being a nanny state. And the pub has now launched a "government approved toilet creche".</div>
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I bet Cameron regrets asking Derek Gherkins to defend him earlier. “Not only are these families destroying their own life chances, they are destroying the life chances of these children.” And what troubled families really need is Derek "I never let my pasties go cold" Gherkins giving them advice. <b><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-weight: normal;">Though I do hope Cameron won't be too embarrassed to go to the new parenting classes the government is proposing.</span></b></div>
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In all seriousness,<b> t</b>he media are trivialising a minor story here. What everyone really needs to know is whether Cameron had a pasty for his lunch (he did. Well, I say pasty. More beef wellington). If only there was a way the government could leak an amusing non-story to deflect attention from what Osborne may say at Leveson later today.</div>
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In all seriousness (and I mean it this time) if only there was as much fuss about the children Cameron's actions will really affect. And perhaps he should admit to being distraught at leaving George Osborne unattended in a pub for 15 minutes a couple of months ago to write his Budget.</div>
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My old mate Tony Blair would never have let his family become involved in a "child/booze" related embarrassment and I will finish with a piece of advice for Cameron. If he wants someone to take care of his daughter I can recommend headhunter guru DONALD HOLDING. Not because he is a childcare expert but because I haven't plugged him shamelessly in the blog for a while.</div>
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</div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-73447487293338710492012-06-07T09:22:00.001+01:002012-06-07T09:22:44.704+01:00Back from BoggnorBack from a break in Boggnor Regis, whose name is derived as everyone knows from the Olde English for King Robin of Bogg. Despite trying to keep a low profile I was caught up in the celebrations. Bunting everywhere and flags. Not for the Queen but for the government u turn on the Brolly Tax which I singlehandedly engineered. Yes, I can give credit to everyone else as much as I like but we all know that it was me what really won it. George Osborne just couldn't face the prospect of another letter from me to the Times.<br />
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But I seek no thanks. Success is its own reward. And I was spotted by the policy paparazzi wonk Craig Trevor as these pictures illustrate.<br />
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<img id="photo" src="http://c0014334.r32.cf1.rackcdn.com/x2_cc34fc0" /><br />
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<img id="photo" src="http://c0014334.r32.cf1.rackcdn.com/x2_cc34fd1" /><br />
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I did over indulge a little bit but can you find a Doctor at 3 in the morning? No. Bloody doctors with their curing people on their own terms nonsense.<br />
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But for now, as I discussed with Brolly Minister Rick T'Hurd we need to move on to the important business and issues facing the umbrella sector. Such as keeping my profile high by finding something else for me to bleat on about all over the media. These peerages won't bestow themselves. As I know, having already tried that method.Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-2241275449594509512012-05-31T14:53:00.003+01:002012-05-31T14:53:25.808+01:00Brolly Tax Relief U-TurnIT WAS ALL DOWN TO ME AND MY TIRELESS WHINGING.<br />
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Details to followSir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-54400077094652292892012-05-23T16:35:00.002+01:002012-05-23T16:48:03.301+01:00Brolly Sector Whine<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Yes, that's whine not wine! Not even I would do a blog post about quaffing fine wines to cheer everyone up even though they have all been a bit gloomy of late what with losing their jobs and the recession and the government's peerless governing! I suspect my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb will make some joke confusing whine with wine to try and mock me and draw me into a response but I am not falling for that.</span><br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">That is why I am going for a heavier touch today as I report on my whine tasting last night. But don't think this was a nasty capitalist thing in the City. I would still have gone if it was, but it wasn't. Oh no; it was the Whine Society which is an uncooperative owned by its members (of whom I am one) and has been running since 1874!</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> It sources the finest whines, whinges, bleats, rants, complaints, protestations and grizzles from around the world and lets people taste them to see how they sound in their own mouths. </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">We did have a selection of organic whines! In fact overall there were 50 to choose from and I need to report I did not taste all! From time to time I like to make helpful suggestions on what the stressed CEO should do to relax so let me give you my whine tip.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"> </span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Bloody bankers are to blame for everything. A beautiful whine.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">I was with Head Hunter Honcho Donald Holding. I wasn't really but I haven't mentioned that I haven't mentioned him in the blog for 3 weeks or so now and he's getting twitchy,</span><br />
<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Anyway this week I am studying the papers and listening to the news with strange intent for on Friday I appear on the Panel for Any Questions on Radio 4, which is fast becoming my third home. I admit I am somewhat nervous. Please don't ask a question on football or the outbreak of World War One or who vandalised the Blue Peter garden or who sang "Take me Out" or I might be reduced to a pathetic "who is Ferdinand?" The other question I dread is "what the fuck are you doing on Any Questions?" but I can wing that by using the same tactics I have used when asked a similar question by my trustees for the last ten years.</span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: seashell; font-family: Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-38470319322885236562012-05-18T12:08:00.001+01:002012-05-18T12:08:22.517+01:00Hanging's too good for himNow I am not one to over react to comments I disagree with (isn't that right Dylan Twirley) but I think Lord Gromit should be executed. Not for what he has said about dodgy umbrellas and some gamps being more worthy than others but because it would leave a vacancy in the upper chamber. Which is being reformed by my mate Dave especially, so I hear, to allow me a chance to get my robes in return for writing what he wanted in MY report on the NHS.<br />
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Gromit made the comments at a Q&A session marking two years of the Coalition and was standing in as a last minute replacement for Rick T'Hurd, the brolly minister who was at the hospital supporting his wife who had just taken out membership to the official party of opposition. Sorry. She had gone into labour*.<br />
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What isn't yet known is if Rick will name his new child after myself or Hubert, but I must have more chance due to the unisex nature of my moniker.<br />
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By the way, do you like the new look for my blog? I know my good friend and regular commenter Sir Bumble of Heep will be particularly taken with it and will even have his own theories as to the thinking behind it (see comment on my previous post).<br />
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* No one has EVER made that joke before. EverSir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-57675115537427044412012-05-14T12:16:00.002+01:002012-05-14T12:23:35.152+01:00Silver BUBBileeOooh, hark at me, I have been all over the papers like a bad metaphorical cliche after my lecture on forgotten umbrellas in Britain. Although we have had some blissful wet weather recently there are still many umbrellas that are not realising their full potential as government cuts continue to bite.<br />
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Still, I don't let that get in the way of BUBB's 25th anniversary celebrations where I laud our great membership (even though they can be a pain in the arse sometimes what with wanting to be properly represented and stuff) in the week where it has been revealed that our membership is declining. And we have had to make 3 staff redundant. But never mind eh? I am still here. Though I wonder if my trustees were dropping a hint when quizzing me about exit interviews earlier...Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-22788792901937036502012-05-08T10:46:00.006+01:002012-05-08T10:46:52.273+01:00Benazir BhoggoShocking pictorial evidence of my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb's closeness and influence on former Pakistan leader Benazir Bhoggo can be seen <a href="http://pakistan66.blogspot.co.uk/2012/05/benazir-scandal-with-stephen-bubb-in.html">here</a>. Warning: contains disturbing images of fashion crimes.Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-879943105184221462012-04-30T17:16:00.001+01:002012-05-01T09:06:24.535+01:00Umbrella CommissionHow dare an independent regulator not act outside of its remit and not display independence on the tax relief row. When I say independence I mean speak out on the side I support.<br />
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We need a properly independent body that isn't afraid to do what I do and say bollocks to truth and speak bollocks to power. Unless it's about the support of the umbrella sector for the NHS reforms of course.<br />
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I know I am in serious danger of completely misunderstanding the job of a regulator, who I haven't been afraid of pillorying in the past for doing too much regulating when they looked at some of my own possible breaches of regulation, but we need a body who can regulate and stand up to government while not regulating if that suits me better. We also need them to make the tea, wash the dishes, dust the shelves and solve world hunger, all on reduced funding.<br />
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Such independence could be achieved when appointing a successor to Dame Luci Vinyl as chair in the summer by using an independent appointments committee - which by astonishing coincidence is exactly the type of body I have recently become an assessor for. But even I haven't got the chutzpah to go further and suggest that such a committee could then use the services of a headhunter to secure the right candidate. A headhunter such as, oooh I don't know, off the top of my head, DONALD HOLDING.<br />
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If I was being really cynical and reading between the lines I might even be accused of putting myself forward for the job. Or at least helping to create a situation where I may be headhunted by someone tasked by an independent appointments committee. Quite independently of course.Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-30332632856130905562012-04-27T11:15:00.000+01:002012-04-27T11:15:22.933+01:00Caption competitionAny suggestions for this picture of my great Aunt Maud, Lester Twomore, head of the Brolly Lottery Fund and the other umbrella sector knight, Sir Hubert Carrington of NCVO?<br />
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"My jerry can is THIS full"<br />
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or<br />
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"Sir Robin ate this much couscous"<br />
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<img alt="pic.twitter.com/AboD0b60" src="https://p.twimg.com/Areh6WKCEAAhk0z.jpg" /><br />
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Answers on a postcard, in comments below, by email to boggrobin@gmail.com or on Twitter @robinboggSir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-89719976305571759382012-04-24T14:05:00.000+01:002012-04-24T14:05:04.944+01:00I should have defended NHS Bill support claimsThere's an interesting story quoting me on Gampal Society Media's website:<br />
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<i>The independence of Sir Robin Bogg has been called into question by Sir Robin Bogg who says he should have piped up against David Cameron's claims of BUBB support for the NHS Bill last month. <br /><br />“You could argue claims of BUBB (and therefore implicitly the umbrella sector) support for the NHS Bill was a direct government endorsement of BUBB and umbrella sector support for the NHS Bill. Especially given my role in the listening exercise. I would have expected me to say something,” said Bogg. <br /><br />While he praised the rest of the sector for uniting to question Cameron, he said he had failed to defend the umbrella sector when he needed to. <br /><br />“One area of disappointment was me. I had expected me to be a little more robust in defending the sector when accusations were being made about supporting the NHS Bill. It shouldn’t have been left to others to point this out. I should have been doing that.”<br /><br />When faced with Cameron's claims that BUBB and the umbrella sector supported the NHS Bill, I should have held the government to account, said Sir Robin. <br /><br />“It does pose a question about how independent my role as chair of the competition part of the listening exercise was if I am not prepared to stand up and speak my mind robustly.”<br /><br />Sir Robin Bogg declined to respond to the comments but he said that if he had he would probably have denied he was being hypocritical and self-serving.</i><br />
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Bloody press, eh? Making me look silly by quoting what I told them to get myself some publicity.<br />
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However, I will have no such qualms about criticising the Umbrella Commission for not responding to Cameron's dodgy umbrella comments. It should have defended umbrellas. And if it doesn't defend itself from my attack on them for not defending umbrellas against attacks I will attack them for not defending themselves. And so on until we all disappear in a recursive vortex.Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-36577922281257652072012-04-24T10:33:00.002+01:002012-04-24T10:33:51.161+01:00Be careful how you type cutsCuts. Loads of them. All in the government. Especially that runt Danny Kendallexander (one for Grange Hill fans there). He's a right little cut.<br />
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Such is the unravelling of the government's commitment to boost the giving of umbrellas that they have had to cancel the giving summit. Well, not cancel entirely, but it has been scaled right back and no one is going now. Certainly not me as the drinks reception has been canned.<br />
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That'll learn them.<br />
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<br />Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-75648434684371101872012-04-19T12:29:00.004+01:002012-04-19T12:55:26.500+01:00Wet and windy<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;">I see my <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">spoofer</span> Sir Stephen <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">Bubb</span> is goading me by blogging about wet and windy weather, which I happen to love as long as it isn't too windy. Or wet. </span><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;font-size:100%;">Wet and windy. Sums up beautifully the mood in the umbrella sector as we survey the wreck of the "<span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Bogg</span> Society" idea. Wet means that more shelter is needed than ever, but efforts to provide it are being hampered by the strong winds of incompetent government threatening to destroy many hard working brollies. </span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;font-size:100%;">The row over <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">gamp</span> relief and rich umbrella owners rumbles on. We are told there will be consultation. <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">Woopty</span> fucking do. When the Budget was announced it was stated that the proposals would be subject to consultation. So what are we now offered? The same. Consultation. Despite the compelling evidence that the damage has been done and the rich are already cutting back on the shelter they offer the poor. And consultation is all very well. But have they announced a launch party? Have they bollocks. Amateur.<br /><br />I've been to one of these famed consultations before. I stormed out over umbrella gift aid a couple of years ago as I didn't get my own way and the lunch was rubbish. It became clear the main purpose of the exercise was window dressing and being seen to listen when in reality it was a done deal. The government always packs these things with people they know agree with them. So I would not be surprised when they set up this new consultation to see Milly <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_5">Coinfee</span> and <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_6">Mervyn</span> <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_7">Naredowell</span>, both supporters of the government's position, on the invite list.<br /><br />This sort of thing would never happen with the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_8">NHS</span> consultation, for example, where I, a vocal supporter of competition was appointed chair of the panel on competition in a listening exercise that was all for show and had no effect upon the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_9">pre</span>-determined priorities of the government when the Bill was published. Completely different.<br /><br />But to be clear; if <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_10">HMT</span> think they can drown opposition in a sultry summer shower then they can think again. They have roused the wrath of a strong and influential sector. We will overturn this nonsense, I am sure of it, and you can also be sure that if we do I will be at the forefront of claiming the credit.</span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;font-size:100%;"><br /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(51, 51, 51); line-height: 20px; font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;font-size:100%;">In other news, I hear that there are suggestions the House of Lords should relocate to Manchester. This is excellent. No one loves a bit of regional tokenism more than me and I would be more than happy to pop up North a couple of times a year and show my face for the sake of appearances. It's what some of the Lords do in London, after all. </span></div><div></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px;font-size:100%;"><br /></span></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family:Arial, Tahoma, Helvetica, FreeSans, sans-serif;color:#333333;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style=" line-height: 20px;font-size:100%;"><br /></span></span><div><br /></div></div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-18148620653088205502012-04-14T15:27:00.002+01:002012-04-14T15:40:23.393+01:00Unmasking my spoofer part 5<i>The latest in an occasional series where I try and find the identity of my dogged spoofer, Stephen Bubb. </i><div><br /></div><div>I an well known for developing things that might not be needed, dealing with shit and trying to produce water to boost sales of umbrellas while mixing with the great and the good. Therefore it is no surprise to hear of a Stephen Bubb in the Virgin Islands (see <a href="http://virginislandsdailynews.com/news/no-czm-action-on-permit-extension-for-water-island-hotel-1.1299522#ixzz1s1cnVG2F">here</a>) who wants to build 14 buildings, a sewage treatment facility and reverse osmosis water production to serve elite customers. At a place called Water Island<br /><br /><br /></div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-67843861893841892772012-04-13T11:41:00.001+01:002012-04-13T11:42:36.804+01:00Pointless gates website now liveSee <a href="http://pointlessgates.blogspot.co.uk/">here</a> for all of your pointless gate requirements<div><br /></div><div><div>http://pointlessgates.blogspot.co.uk/</div><div><br /></div></div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-34144407374843047562012-04-13T08:06:00.003+01:002012-04-13T08:38:49.019+01:00Peerless in WiganStill in a right old state of righteous indignation over the PM and Number 10's dodgy umbrella comments. How dare he so casually and ignorantly misrepresent an entire group of hardworking umbrellas. Knighthood or no knighthood it is my job to speak truth to power or truth to bollocks or bollocks to power or something.<div><br /></div><div>Just like I did when Cameron wrongly claimed <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">BUBB</span> support for the <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">NHS</span> Bill in the House of Commons. I was really vocal then as well, appearing all over the media denouncing his comments and seeking a correction.</div><div><br /></div><div>Wasn't I?</div><div><br /></div><div>Maybe not.</div><div><br /></div><div>I have been writing loads of letters, including to Dame Luci Vinyl at the Umbrella Commission demanding to know why if there are all these dodgy brollies the regulator isn't regulating. Funny really because in the past I have been all too happy to denounce them when they do regulate (see <a href="http://boggsblub.blogspot.co.uk/2010/07/bloody-regulators-with-their-regulating.html">here</a>). Still, inconsistency shouldn't get in the way of getting my knickers into a Derek Gherkins industrial sized twist.</div><div><br /></div><div>People are still talking about my appearance on <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">Newsnight</span>. Peerless they are calling it. Which is probably what I will end up as after laying into the government so forcibly.</div><div><br /></div><div>In fact the only peer I will be getting anywhere near is the one in <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">Wigan</span>. Which is an Orwell reference you not Oxford, naturally, educated <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">muppets</span> he said condescendingly.</div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-40075894829824525312012-04-11T12:56:00.004+01:002012-04-11T13:09:56.560+01:00Pointless gates<div style="text-align: left;">I spotted a gate today. It was totally pointless.</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-S5Y1I4dbpM0/T4VzJ6jXvLI/AAAAAAAAASw/eKBAa-4dkYY/s400/pointless%2Bgate%2B002.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5730112715072453810" style="display: block; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: auto; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: auto; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 300px; " /></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><br /></span></div><div><br /></div><div>Now, I am not one to use metaphors to bring meaning to things like some sort of metaphor user bringing meaning to things.<div><br /></div><div>But if I was...</div><div><br /></div><div>A pointless gate could either be: </div><div><br /></div><div>Something that promises exclusive access and influence but ultimately just stands there looking hopeless and hapless.</div><div><br /></div><div>Or</div><div><br /></div><div>Something that promises security and support but ultimately just stands there looking hopeless and hapless.</div><div><br /></div><div>So, send me your pictures of pointless gates and I will publish them on the blog. If I get enough I may even devote a whole new blog to it (subject to the launch of a Commission (chaired by me) to explore the possibility of launching a consultation, or listening exercise as I believe they are now called, on doing so).</div></div><div><br /></div><div>boggrobin@gmail.com or via Twitter to @robinbogg using #pointlessgates tag</div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-283272116828308424.post-10848411010879900892012-04-11T07:54:00.003+01:002012-04-11T08:25:26.556+01:00Chips. Spat everywhereDid you see me on Newsnight? I was so angry about the slurs from government that the cap on gamp relief for rich umbrella owners was imposed because there was evidence of brolly abuse that I ate the biggest pile of chips I could manage and spat them out all over the camera.<div><br /></div><div>This is outrageous from the government. Usually the approach of trying to justify bad policy based on gut instinct through dodgy evidence is one I applaud but not in this case. By using woolly vague accusations they have slurred the good work of all umbrellas. I would even go so far as to say what they are doing will seriously damage society. Disgraceful. Everyone knows that is the job of the NHS bill which I implicitly supported.</div><div><br /></div><div>They even had the nerve to say that some brollies are being used abroad as if this is a bad thing. There is nothing wrong with taxpayer money being diverted abroad. I myself can often be found diverted abroad, funded by others.</div>Sir Robin Bogghttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18106273485908834228noreply@blogger.com0