Have received worrying news from my deputy Hector Rule who is at the Funding the Future for the Event Organisers conference, where 15 million people gather hoping to hear some useful tips on how umbrellas will be financed in the coming months (they rarely do).
On his Twitter account using his @peterkyle spoofonym he sent this. Is this what it has come to? Brolly minister Rick T'Hurd stealing our stationery as well as our cash? Hector - if you need me I will get the first plane back from Oz and "have a quiet word" in T'Hurd's ear. He can just be thankful that he didn't nick your brolly. I'd do time over that.