Competition time

As I announced earlier, the Umbrella Commission has a new chief executive. Dame Luci Vinyl rang me when I was on the bus. Then realised she had got my number mixed up with Hubert's and hung up. But I found out the news on the internet when I got to the office.

The new chief executive is still awaiting the ceremonial unveiling of his official name by me. However, in the spirit of this new age of consensus politics I am prepared to listen to ideas from others. His working title is Sam Younger. But what should he properly be referred to as? Remember this is a very important role in the brolly sector, undertaken by Patrick Pond with great success over last few years.

The winner will get a chance to adopt the new chief exectutive for a year and will receive personalised written updates from him/her.

As a kick off, some suggestions I have received already include Spam Hunger, Cam Tonguer and Slim Plunger. But are there any better ones? Reply via comments below.