Wednesday, 28 July 2010

Not co-operating

Blogging from Ireland where I am staying with my relatives, the Peat-Boggs. I was last here lying low after the expenses scandal last year and once again I have had to make a bolt for it after getting into a bit of bother at home.

I saw a report yesterday that said under Bogg Society we will have DIY police forces, which isn't as I first thought nosey parkers handing out cautions for people who put up wonky shelves. What with all of the fuss about volunteering that the government is talking up (2011 is European Year of the Volunteer where basically Europeans will just get on with establishing their own bureaucracy), presumably to prepare everyone for doing everything themselves without payment, I decided to take matters into my own hands.

I set off out to do a bit of DIY policing on my road in East Lambeth after I saw a bloke wearing a jacket I didn't like while doing nothing in particular.

Then I glared at a speeding motorist and took note of his registration. Sort of a volunteer speed camera especially now they may be scrapped.

Next I asked some kids who looked a bit edgy to "move on". They ignored me.

Finally, I was arrested for acting suspiciously by a neighbour also acting as a DIY policeman. And I was about to arrest him for the same thing.

I managed to escape him but am now a fugitive of the volunteer justice system.

I hope all of this doesn't affect me becoming Commissioner on Lambeth’s Charade of a Co-operative Council Caring for Citizens Commission. This is basically a talking shop that will pretend to engage with local people and find out from them what services they value. Before savagely cutting them. A Commission that's all mouth and no trousers. Its right up my street don't you think? And an interesting way of the State imposing empowerment in the spirit of Bogg Society.

My fellow Commissioners include such fabulous names as Spectre Aderealale, (called Spectre because he is rumoured to have been spotted in the House of Lords but no one can confirm his presence for sure - whatever, he's got a peerage, the bastard) and Milly Coinfee (who has made a packet out of writing about inequality of wealth), my vice chair Hillda Ogden-Newton&Ridley (pin up girl of social enterprise, gardener, decorator, surfer, mother, lover, fighter, education reformer) and ARS chief executive Michael Think Tank Taylor Soldier Spy as well as one of my trustees Ribeni Can of the great umbrella focused Contact a Gamp. Very cosy eh? There is no better way to seek to achieve a change in how power is applied then asking those who are already powerful to look into it. Plus, you'd think that we'd all be far too busy doing all the other things we do to spare any more time but no. After all you can wear many hats when your head is big.

Back to the Peat-Boggs - does anyone want to see any fuzzy family snaps? My nieces have begged me to mention them in the blog but I said no. They should set their own one up. It is not my job to drop other people's names liberally in my blog space just to keep them happy and show off. But I will show you a picture the senior junior Bogg (aged 6) did as it's rather good and restores my faith in the education system. Click here


  1. Any relation to the Boggorahs of Brollymoney?

  2. I'm warming to the idea of DIY police - about time we were given the right to form our own vigilante groups and keep our local streets clean of tabloid sensationalism.