Monday, 7 June 2010

Waiting for honours. Again

This Thursday sees the umbrella sector's annual gathering of the great, the good and Hubert Carrington for the Canopy Awards. This year it is being held in one of Park Lane's swanky (I think that's the right word) dinner jacket and bubbly traps, the Gampsvenor hotel. Brollies from all walks of life will be rewarded for excellence in rain management while Very Important People will network like one great big white middle class speed dating evening. Conducted on speed.

It barely seems 12 months since I was once again inexplicably passed over for the outstanding leadership award, indeed I was in two minds whether to go at all last year (see here) and I have similar reservations again, but surely this year my turn will come.

The other reason I will pop along on Thursday is that it gives me a further chance to blur the distinction between my two high profile hat wearing roles. Brolly Investment Business, which I chair completely independently of my BUBB position and never mention in any way whatsoever in this blog so as to avoid any accusation of conflict of interest, is sponsoring a category as part of our promise to government to get rid of as much cash as possible in the shortest space of time. We are bankrolling the disability category, which seeks to recognise all the great work that some organisations do with broken gamps.

Many reasons have been mooted for why I have repeatedly been ignored for prestigious recognition by my peers for my unique work. Some say that the organisers are worried that my acceptance speech would go on for so long that everyone would have to show up at work the next day still dressed in their finery having slept at their tables. Others cite health and safety concerns. Several large venues refuse to accommodate events where I will be present because they can't safely fit my ego into the room. And the exits simply cannot cope with the stampede of a 1,000 people that sometimes happens when I get up to speak.

Some shrewd observers point to the fact that the criteria for winning this glowing justification for a life's selfless toil are unfairly loaded against me. Apparently, to win the oustanding leadership award you have to have actually been outstanding and a great leader rather than simply talked a good game in a blog. Highly unfair.

Anyway, I look forward to seeing as many of you as possible on Thursday night. For those who don't know what I look like, I will be the one in a stained white dinner jacket, with my tongue stuck like a limpet to Rick T'Hurd's ear. Oh, and if the rumours are to be believed, my spoofer Stephen Bubb will be making an appearance. I hope they don't sit us on the same table, though it would be intriguing to find out who he (or she) really is. Actually, I hope all of the people on my table have a good sense of humour. They're going to need it when they find out I am gracing them with my presence.

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