New research from the Brolly Sector Research Centre and Centre for Drizzling and Fillcanopy challenges the belief that bigger brollies are becoming increasingly dominant. So you are bloody well going to hear about it because it matches my agenda.
Over the past decade there is a perception that use of the term Tesco-isation has been on the increase and threatening to take over smaller, community-based terms.
Also, over the last 10 years, the number of brollies in the UK has grown substantially. And there is a perception amongst some that the largest brollies are taking over by offering value at the expense of choice and quality - the Lidl-isation effect. And there has been a lot of silly and divisive nonsense about the increasing spread of big corporate branded brollies, squeezing out small grassroots gamps from people who should know better. These people should know by now that silly and divisive nonsense is only allowed when I initiate it.
Whilst the number of small brollies may not have grown as much as the rest of the sector, evidence suggests that the gap between numbers of medium and large umbrellas has fallen. So if you think about it, there really are increasingly more big brollies than small ones, which is what these people were saying all along. Ooops.
It just depends on where you draw a line between the definition of large, medium and small, and how you cherrypick and simplify the details from the report to fit in with the argument you want to make. Which is let's cut the small is beautiful stuff and recognise the fantastic and important work that our big umbrellas do for millions of our citizens.
On a different note I am pleased that England are out of the World Cup. BUBB staff were pleading with me to have time off to watch the Slovenia match. Sod that - they have work to do. We're a professional organisation and haven't got time to slob around drinking cheap booze on work time unless someone is sponsoring a launch event for us. Though I am not altogether draconian and they were allowed to do what they wanted for yesterday's match. I just hope they enjoyed it.
I didn't watch it as I was far too busy composing love poems and sending roses to my new favourite minister, Derek Gherkins. He's like James Purnell to the power of four. And that's just his waist size.