Monday, 14 February 2011

Did you see me on the telly?

Sunday is full English breakfast day, but I had only just got the sausages on, when the phone goes. BBC wanting me for the news, so I was straight out to do that, then a studio session for Sky Sports celebrity wrestling, where I was grappling with Bogg Society bullshitter Dom Blond while the Archbishop of Southwark refereed.

Did you see me? I was so knackered I could barely keep my eyes open. But I think I won on points. Mind you, that Blond is a slippery customer to fight against. You just can't pin him down on anything. And he won't give up, but stubbornly ploughs ahead even if his ideas and tactics aren't working.

I think I definitely had the support of the Archbishop - always handy having God on your side as was been evidenced later in the day. You may recall back in October I reported a heinous crime against a member of the Bogg family who had his umbrella stolen from church. The Lord does in fact move in mysterious ways as a brolly miraculously reappeared yesterday in the spot the stolen one was last seen. It isn't quite the same one having a different coloured handle but is a brolly nevertheless.

If it wasn't divine intervention it is evidence that my many enemies have been reminded of who is the Daddy of the brolly sector now I am all over the media like a Davina McCall shaped rash. Either way, honour is somewhat restored.

The only downer on the day was returning home to find my kitchen was a blackened shell. I had forgotten to turn the sodding sausage pan off in my haste to leave the house.

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