Launching the relaunch of the launch of something that isn't being relaunched even though it is

I pity the poor people of Humberside. What a shithole. But at least they had the good fortune to hear me explaining my view of Bogg Society and denouncing cuts on their local radio. As did loads of other godforsaken holes around Britain. This Knighthood means the BBC obviously think I have some credibility. Though a Knight shouldn't be made to get up early and served shite coffee.

As the media marathon ends I head to the PM's Bogg Society relaunch speech. But this exercise in media vanity isn't just an exercise in media vanity. It's a superb opportunity to get a message across about cuts in brolly funding. And frankly it has been the relentless pounding by BUBB on cuts that has helped shift opinion and partly explains Cameron's relaunch.

Yep, it's all down to me.

Now you know you have arrived when you discover that Nick Robinson is reading your blog though he looked like a man who had been caught looking at snuff movies on his laptop. Hi Nick! You biased prick. I spoke to him this morning at the relaunch event in Somerset House with my colleague Sir Hubert.

Bogg Society may be one daft idea that the PM is running with as his personal mission. He thinks it's genius. It isn't. Well it might be. No one can tell.

And his relaunch scam is another example of potential genius let down by shabby execution. I love a launch event as you may know. An opportunity to get some sponsored canapes and fizz and swan around giving it large. And the PM has now relaunched Bogg Society 485 times, while smoothly denying that the relaunches are launches.

But he has completely neglected the catering side of things. Poor show. Ultimately Bogg Society may collapse for the lack of a sausage roll. Presumably Cam expected someone to volunteer to put on a bit of a buffet, provide a few cakes etc. Unless there was some intervention by Derek Gherkins.

Still it was a good speech. David Cameron is a superb communicator. You know exactly what message the smarmy insincere privileged upper class shitehawk is putting across - you're all screwed, ha ha ha. Couldn't be clearer. Except when it comes to Bogg Society.

It was a top class performance in bullshitting and you can tell that this is something he believes in, the deluded, stubborn toff. And thanks to Dave's efforts today I am sure everyone is so much clearer about Bogg Society now. We may as well have looked for answers on Dave. The TV channel.

Some highlights from his speech: "Really, the Bogg Society is very simple. And so are you if you don't get it"

"The Bogg Society is not empty rhetoric. It's much less full and lacking substance than that"

"The Bogg Society is so easy to understand that even George reckons he comprehends it (he doesn't)"

"I order you to revolt against the top down statist approach and volunteer to build an active society"

"This isn't a top down solution. I order you to be empowered and make Bogg Society work. It's my mission and comes from the top"

If Cameron spent as much effort explaining what Bogg Society actually is as he has constantly relaunching it then it probably wouldn't help much.

At least has finally got everyone talking about Bogg Society - now a far greater percentage of the public don't understand it at all rather than just the handful that had heard of it.