I have just found out about a gross act of negligence by one of my team. Tweeting under his Twitter pseudonym @sebelsworth, my talented director of something or other, I forget what, Fab Jobsworth has breached sub section 3.4 of his employment contract. To see his confession click here
He will be sacked immediately. Or at least after the Labour conference. Probably. I need him with me now here in Manchester to hold onto my canapes and champagne flute when I am pressing the flesh of as many of God Megagrand's team as possible. And I need him to carry the copy of the Beverage Report that I keep meaning to pass onto God. It contains a full list of every free drink I have enjoyed over the last year and makes a compelling, bubbly and extremely long reading.
For more on my attempts to enter God's inner circle read my next blog post.