I am not happy with Hermann Rockes at New Fillcanopy Capital, and he will be lucky not to join the "beware the poison-tip umbrella or else end up like Markov" list with Dylan Twirley and Donnie Fiddly. Rockes has stirred a storm of shit so massive it might have to be given its own female forename by suggesting a moral index ranking how beneficial umbrellas are. Doesn't he realise that making wildly fanciful pronouncements merely to provoke publicity and generate debate is MY JOB? If my Great Aunt Maud wants to give to a brolly to an animal why shouldn't she? Even though that is not the thrust of Rockes' argument.
I will respond to this properly once I have a) read up on it - heaven forbid I should jerk my knee without being in full possession of the facts and b) when we finally leave Manchester. We need to find Fab Jobsworth first who has gone missing. I took my team out for a Burger King last night then returned to the hotel but Fab went off larging it and hasn't been seen since, perhaps fearful of the sack. Or maybe he has headed off to Sutton to find his errant brolly.