Monday, 20 September 2010

In praise of big brollies at the heart of Bogg Society

After getting all theologically aroused by the Pope's visit I can now get back to normal concerns. It is conference season which always gives ample opportunity to slouch around and harangue politicians in the supposed interest of my members. I can also catch up on reading other people's blogs though I am still seething about something my former mentor and unofficial boss Gnat Pee wrote last week. I even had a bit of a set-to with him at the Pope's state banquet and spilt some blood on my cassock.

Basically he has no sympathy for the state of the brolly sector and blames the last Labour government for not ensuring enough rainfall. He also had a go at big brollies saying that they have become synonymous with government and over reliant on the State for funding. Apparently large umbrellas do not empower citizens, being too unwieldy to properly engage in active shelter.

I will now give an in-depth critique of Gnat's words.

He's talking out if his arse.

Brollies are the solution not part of the problem. I will not hear a word said against them and will defend the gradual move that the umbrella industry has made towards reliance on government funding at the possible expense of independence to the bitter end, especially as I have spent 10 years encouraging it.

Make no mistake about it. Bogg Society is bollocks. And because of this, it needs people such as me and my members to make it work.

Gnat should listen to David Cameron. He last week quite rightly urged local authorities to not cut ties with umbrellas. Next time I see him in the Blacbury Lidl I will give him a great big kiss by way of thanks.

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