Sunday, 7 March 2010

Tearing Sandy Burnham-Drownham a new one

The Witchfinder-General, Sandy Burnham-Drownham has got right on my tits. As well as all of this nonsense over removing the umbrella sector's preferred supplier status as providers of healthcare gamps he has overruled a DJ on Great Yarmouth and Waveney's Hospital Radio's playlist to ban the broadcast of Rihanna records. This is the latest in a long line of outrages from him. He once passed the port the wrong way at a posh dinner.

He has responded by accusing me of redefining the word "gerrymandering" and redrawing the boundaries within which it can be used for my own political purposes and to sex up my pompous outrage.

I have done what any small-minded annoyed citizen does in such cases and written a sternly worded letter to my local paper. He hasn't heard the last of this.

This whole episode rather cast a shadow over the rest of last weeks activities. The Newcastle leg of the Big Arse tour went well though there was a comedy moment when I introduced BUBB's chair Mary-Lou Havagander for a duet on Singin' in the Rain as Lou-Roll. How we chuckled.

I have also put together an impressive line up for our free love orgy with the Tory party later this month with a host of top doggers including my Great Aunt Maude and Rick T'Hurd promising to swing by with their car keys.

We will be hosting this on a privately rented Caribbean island. I want to show the umbrella sector at it's best, whatever the cost. Any suggestion that such flashiness will simply make the Tories think we don't need the irrecoverable VAT or gift aid as we're obviously minted will be ignored.

My only regret is that I missed what I am told was a cracking party (with cheese) hosted by top brolly lawyers Boats Bells & Makeweight on Thursday night. Apparently my spoofer, Stephen Bubb, was there but he is such an elusive and shadowy presence that one cannot be sure.

Finally, in the week that we said goodbye to Michael Foot, here is a picture of me with him at the Oxford Union, naturally, in my younger days. It is a pose I have constantly repeated over the years.

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