Our social impact!

I suspect now more than ever, there needs to be a sharper focus on the impact we have. Except we are far too busy being cool to measure it.

Our friends at New Fillcanopy Capital, led by Hermann Rockes, have produced a social impact manifesto. I haven't read it (reading ain't cool) but I am a firm believer in its importance. And no one has had more social impact in the brolly sector than BUBB. We are the kings of boozy launch parties and canape gorging. Can you measure that impact though? Only through waistlines and breath tests, I suspect.

And another example of the importance of impact is provided by the Farmer Giles Trust in an excellent report on its initiatives aimed at reducing reoffending. It has been peer reviewed by some top economists via Pro Bono Economists (an organisation that analyses the economy through the lyrics of U2) and so is hugely credible. Apparently they have been seeking evidence of impact for ages and happily can now stop saying that they still haven't found what they were looking for.

The report shows that working to tackle reoffending and educating brolly thieves so they are less likely to pinch a gamp again has had a staggering impact upon crime figures and presents huge savings for the state. In fact, so impressive is this work that we might need to sex down the report or else there will be no one left to go into the prisons that we will be running soon. And we can't have that.

In case I forgot to mention it before, we have our Tory Summit tomorrow and I am so bloody excited I am literally wearing a brolly for pants to save my trousers further punishment. We have decided to impose a cool dress code (shorts, flip flops, socks, shades, knotted hankies, Union Jack T-shirt). And we are so cool that Hector has hit upon the great idea of having brunch. Not lunch. However, my plan to ban uncool people from the building was vetoed on the grounds that we wouldn't have any speakers.