Only two days to go until our summit with the Tories. I am right proper excited about it I can tell you. A whole day schmoozing with the next government (or not), getting our ear bending in early before Hubert buggers things up with rhyme and reason. If you can't attend you can email firstname.lastname@example.org with any questions you'd like to post to George Osbourne and the rest of the posh twit class warriors or leave a comment below. Rest assured I will pass it on.
Or if you like all of this new age social media real time stuff you can follow on Twitter, using the hashtag #torybubbshit. No doubt my spoofer Stephen Bubb will also be present in a virtual sense, using some wittily named parody hashtag such as #acevotetory or #bluebloodedbollocks or #tssummit.
It has long been known that BUBB is the coolest place in the umbrella sector, especially when describing relations with the other major umbrella bodies. Jobsworth, Rule, Sachell and Jerry are often in the media spotlight (bloody tabloids) but handle it well. Our secretaries are well tidy as well. What other umbrella body has such stunning talent? Which other major brolly organisation has a chief executive so willing to sing the praises of its staff on a blog in lieu of a decent wage? We are so cool. Effortlessly cool. So cool that we don't even have to talk about it. We're so cool that the kids are down with us, not the other way round.
We're so cool that sunglasses wear us. We're so cool that BUBB is a byword for cool at cucumber dinner parties.
So it is no surprise that our latest intern is a TV star. Yes, we have been promised the piano from 4 Poofs and a Piano when the popular camp harmony singing combo are made redundant once Wossy leaves the Beeb. It will prove invaluable for our impromptu karaoke nights.