I am not happy about being pipped once again for the Nobel Peace Prize. I have travelled the world selflessly spreading umbrellas and peace. Yet Obama's tinkering around the diplomatic edges and merely engaging with the rest of the world at a more normal level (ie leaving America) than his predecessor and smiling a lot is deemed worthy of the cash, I mean honour.
But maybe I can aim for one of the science prizes next year. I am very excited to announce that we have nearly secured funding for a new project. We intend to fire brollies at the moon to try and establish whether there is rain there. Rumours that Hector Rule will be strapped to the same rocket are yet to be confirmed.