Pay as you go

Another busy week. I finally managed to pop into BUBB's offices briefly but won't be doing that again for awhile. Half the staff struggled to recognise me and Hector (I assume it was him) had left a whoopee cushion on my seat and hung all my reproduction Magritte pictures upside down.

Fortunately there has been plenty happening out of the office to occupy me. We have launched our annual survey of remuneration in the umbrella sector. Many vendors of brollies have reported that they have frozen the price of brollies due to the recession. Additionally plenty of chief executives across all sectors have had their pay capped meaning they cannot lavish vast sums on brollies, further dampening (pun very much intended) brolly inflation.

This is a situation that cannot be allowed to continue. I for one have an expensive lifestyle to maintain and this relies on a thriving umbrella sector. Those Lidl frozen dinners and croissants won't pay for themselves. We need more activity from gamp headhunters such as, now let me see, Donald Holding at Feudal, to keep the pressure up on prices by offering ridiculous sums to poach exceptional brollies. And I trust those rich, smug bastards at JPMorgan et al will be spending their bonuses on rain protection as well.

We also had a bored, sorry, board away day. I spent most of it tweeting on my Blackberry under the desk but everyone else seemed to find it interesting.

We then had a meeting for all members interested in running prisons. We should also hold one I suppose for members vehemently opposed to the idea so as to be truly representative for all of our membership. But we won't bother.

One of our members suggested that we rename ourselves BeelzeBUBB, as we just do what we want and to hell with the consequences. As always, the devil is in the detail.

Looking forward to a weekend in Blacbury. It is harvest festival at St Gubbyns so a great excuse to palm off all those tins of economy baked beans that have been going dusty in my pantry onto old folk in the name of community and charity.