Phew. At last I am out. While in Taunton I popped into the Umbrella Commission's office there to have a piss and ended up accidentally locked in their vast archives on brolly activity throughout history. 4 days I was in there without a bite to eat. And it was cold and damp in the cellar. Luckily there was plenty of old paper lying around that I was able to use to make a fire.
I did find some vaguely interesting stuff about my ancestors and their involvement with umbrellas through the ages and some fascinating stuff about umbrella sharing initiatives instigated by local groups - a sort of early incarnation of Bogg Society.
But there is only so much interest that you can sustain hearing about what some do-gooder with the same surname did in the olden days and thankfully the indomitable (ie. fierce) Juice Hoisins eventually heard my screams and let me out. For which I will reward her someday by publishing a blurry photograph of her sitting sheepishly at a desk.
And what do I find when I get out? More Bogg Society nonsense. Some of the latest mad cap schemes include:
To meet a shortfall after cuts in the RAF, citizens will be empowered to wear goggles and flying helmets and dick around in planes talking in a posh voice. It will be called the Biggles Society.
And to cover cutbacks in rail transportation, citizens will be empowered to run their own train networks and rob the profits so that the rail operating companies don't have to. This will be known as the Biggs Society.
Finally, I see the government's Bogg Society Network will be going on tour forcing organisations to buy into this supposedly bottom up volunteer led pile of arse.