Regular readers will be aware I have got the right hump about the witchfinder-general Sandy Burnham-Drownham's disgraceful policy on the NHS being the government's preferred supplier of medical brollies. This whole sorry saga reached a messy climax when a hospital radio station in Great Yarmouth was banned from playing Rihanna records, a decision that reeked of government interference.
In a blow for transparency, we have secured through a Freedom of Misinformation request some papers about this and although I'll be buggered if I am going to share what they say, my brilliant head of policy Geof Sachell has put together a summary of what they might say if you read between the lines and interpret in line with our own version of the truth (freedom of misinterpretation).
Obviously the government haven't done anything too bad or else they would have found an excuse not to release the papers in the first place, indeed they haven't let us see them all so we have just guessed what the missing ones might have said, but stick with us and believe me when I say that they reveal:
1) Sandy Burnham-Drownham is a very naughty boy
2) He doesn't even own an umbrella
3) The government sometimes tells people what to do in their own interests (or govern)
4) Life isn't fair
5) Sandy Burnham-Drownham used to own an umbrella but left it on a bus
All pretty shocking and proof that they have been caught red-handed I am sure you will agree.