Well it had to happen sooner or later I suppose. I have fallen victim to a sting operation (and not one where I was turned into an arrogant Geordie lute playing bighead). Channel 4 have incriminating footage of me saying I am a "brolly for hire". For £5.50 I will offer anyone protection from the rain. I also claimed that for the right money I could affect policy through my extensive contacts and influence with government ministers and that I had James Purnell's mobile number if anyone wanted to "do an Ashley".
But anyone thinking of taking me up on these boasts should remember "caveat gamptor" - Byers beware.