Gnat Pee's off

Found time out from my busy schedule prancing round the Balkans to read the news that the government's Bogg Society adviser, Lord Gant Pee has err peed off. This whole issue reveals a basic contradiction at the heart of the government's thinking. Was he a Tsar or a Czar?

The fact he did this on the same day that Cameron relaunched Bogg Society for the 485th time (more failed reboots than a broken computer) was particularly well timed. It was all in all what Dom Blond might call a victory for Bogg Society. And it was nice to see Cameron try and add some substance and flesh to the concept's rhetorical bones by ramping up the rhetoric. But it was all overshadowed by an unnamed footballer who everyone knew the name of having his name named by an MP taking a very brave step forward in promoting the cause of John Hemming.

I am all for free speech myself and will silence anyone who says otherwise. I may be going out on a legal limb here, but I don't care. You people have the right to know. The footballer's name is

RYAN GIGGS

Anyway, back to Bogg Society. No one's listening Dave. You can't keep switching it off and back on again and hope it finally works. But then you know all about not listening, what with this NHS listening shambles. But if you listen to one thing, listen to this. I assume Lord Pee won't need his Lordship now so if there is a vacancy remember that I am ready to go and have already bought my ermine.