I always want to look my best when denying vanity

I am knackered. I am now doing 32 hour shifts in my hospital but I am finding out lots of interesting stuff about the NHS to report back to Dave even though it will make sod all difference to what has already been decided. I am talking to people at all levels in the NHS, the more senior the better. After all, this is about patient choice. And who knows, I may even get round to talking to some patients if I have time.

I am having to think outside the box while remembering that people who use the hackneyed phrase thinking outside the box are not thinking outside of the box.

I note that there are some criticisms being voiced about me taking a 2 month break from my day job to pursue this pointless vanity project and that by cosying up to the government I risk tarnishing the entire umbrella sector by association with future NHS carnage (yes, I saw your editorial in Brolly Weekly Robin Crock). What nonsense. The fact that quite a lot of my members have nothing to do with umbrella provision in the NHS is neither here nor there. I am more than capable of cherrypicking the sub-sectors I want to concentrate on in pursuit of personal recognition and advancement. And vanity project? I never take on board vanity projects unless they make me look good.

And as for any ridiculous suggestions (Sir Bumble of Heep) that this might merely be the latest stage in my ploy to gain a peerage...the very idea. How shallow do you think I am? There's no might about it - it's definitely all about that.

On a different note everyone seems to be looking forward to the Royal Wedding. Personally, I'd rather eat Barkle's worming tablets then watch it. But every cloud as a soggy lining. I see that the weather forecast is for rain on Friday which would be fantastic. What could be more patriotic than thousands of gawping, sycophantic, deluded fools lining the wedding route holding their umbrellas as it lashes down?

Actually, I am a bit miffed that despite my K I am not invited to the ceremony though I will try and crash the evening buffet and hope there is plenty of couscous.

And if Kate needs someone to keep her sheltered as she walks from the car into the Abbey, I am only too willing to help.