What is going on at DWP45? First they issue statistics aimed at demonising fat, drunk, drug addicted umbrella owners. Now they are having a pop at disabled umbrellas. They have released figures that say 75% of claims by broken brollies for support have been turned down . This is not the same as saying 75% of those receiving support aren't eligible, but that subtlety will be lost in the reportage, and in the public mind an image of thousands of undeserving, indolent gamps trying to cheat the system is built up. The lying bastards (by which I mean the politicians).
Never mind the laws of meteorology that determine in hot, dry weather there is less work for umbrellas. The powers that be just want to spin things to justify the massive withdrawal of state responsibility for its citizens and their umbrellas that we are currently witnessing.
Oh well, there is always the Royal Wedding to provide a bit of distraction to the hoi polloi. Nothing says we are all in it together more than one very posh privileged bloke and his slightly less posh bride driving off in an Aston Martin while the crowds cheer. Despite Hillda Ogden-Newton&Ridley trying to drag me along to some painful street party round the corner from my brothers, I decided to do the patriotic thing and visit a Swedish furniture store. As you can see below.I did invite the Syrian ambassador along as well as he was at bit of a loose end but apparently he was off to my old mate Tony Blair's gaff to watch it on his big screen.
Still, I see the establishment does at least retain some sense of humour by giving William such a rubbish new title. Duke of Cambridge? Ha ha ha ha. A far more prestigious title would have been the Duke of Oxford, Naturally. They must be saving that for someone else. I wonder...