Thursday, 7 October 2010

Bogg Society - time to piss or get off the Bogg

I am flipping cream crackered. Three conferences in a row. There is only so much flesh pressing and bullshit and cheap fizz one man can take. And even though I am not that man, I won't be doing it again next year (except if I do).

And have we moved any further forward on Bogg Society? Have we bollocks.

It is still rhetoric without substance. My Great Aunt Maud admitted it will be chaotic which translates as "we haven't got a fucking clue how it will work either".

Gnat Pee described it as "a society in which people do not feel small" which is a circular nonsense non-definition. Never has one man said so much and yet said so little than good old Gnat.

Cam's speech had so much waffle about Bogg Society that it should have come with jugs of maple syrup. Still the Party faithful lapped it up though they were warned for health and safety reasons to remember to remove the wool from their eyes when driving home.

Still, it has at least been good for numbers at events and the BUBB fringe event was packed. There were health and safety concerns but Derek Gherkins responded magnificently by simply eating delegates that were blocking the fire exits.

And it looks like the Bogg Society Network has been a damp squib with meetings cancelled for fear of violence. Empowered citizens marching on Northern town halls wielding brollies was obviously not the image that cuddly, lovable, employer with impeccable HR record Walmart wanted to be associated with. People talk about the Lidlisation of the brolly sector as a negative thing but I find it particularly hypocritical that the Bogg Society Network should be sponsored by Asda. Replacing Big State with Big Fuck Off Supermarket Chain isn't really on.

Seriously. this whole Bogg Society nonsense needs hammering out. And throwing away. It's all very well Dom Blond speaking at 345 floppy fringe events and giving it the big "ooh look at me, I am Dave's ideas man" but it requires more. Especially when you get the constant impression that the government's only idea generally is making things up as it goes along.

I fully expected Dave to open his speech yesterday by saying "I will be making some major policy announcements but I can't say what as I haven't thought of them yet".

It is no good the government saying Bogg Society is what you make of it. By empowering citizens to volunteer to come up with ways in which citizens can be empowered to volunteer to do things, the whole thing ends up getting lost in a cycle of confusion.

Still, it should mean plenty more opportunities to get people together to talk about it. Which generally means free canapes. And hot on the heels of the news that Greggs (Patron Saint - St Derek of Gherkins) are to start selling croissants, it does mean I will be exhibiting a well fed contentedness in the pre Xmas run up.

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