Snow country for old men

Apparently the country has been paralysed by snow. In winter of all things. Now I am one who likes to keep abreast with current affairs, indeed I shape most of them. I tune into Radio 4 at least once a year and drop comments into conversation that imply I listen to the Today Programme without actually doing so. So it was somewhat of a shock to realise that all of my meetings last week were cancelled or poorly attended because of TRAVEL CHAOS in SNOWBOUND BROKEN BRITAIN.

The Daily Express trotted out the irresponsible and tired line about the cold snap proving that global warming was rubbish. To be fair though their front page on Friday summed up their crass ignorance.

"JOURNALISTIC CHAOS.

Yet the Express still claims it is a proper newspaper. "

We also had the usual guff about the cost to the economy of work absenteeism etc. What about the boost to GDP from sales of sledges, mufflers, woolly hats? Snow brollies? Increased gas consumption? Panic buying? I myself had a nervous moment when I realised I didn't have enough panic in the cupboard. I rushed down to Lidl but they had sold out.

Still, gaps in the diary have given me time to catch up with things and I have been exploring telephone conferencing. This is a great way to hold meetings without actually going anywhere and thus reduces the carbon footprint and effects on the environment. At BUBB we have taken great care to source the best technology to enable virtual blathering and Fab Jobsworth has travelled to 48 different countries to test out bits of kit before settling on one developed at a huge factory slap bang in the middle of the Amazon rainforest.

I also realise from reading BUBB's constitution, found during my clear out, that we have a constitution with rules and a framework for doing things which is an even bigger shock than the snow. In January. Apparently I am bound by law to brazenly plug the services of headhunter extraordinaire Donald Holding of Feudal at least once a month. So here goes. Donald is so busy creating a veneer of high demand for quality umbrella sector CEOs to ratchet up his commission that he accidentally recruited someone else into his own job. But as he is a world champion in gampkido he just beat the living daylights out of them and smoothly reclaimed his own office.

One thing I have found that may come in useful is this. I will be heading off to see the Witchfinder-General Sandy Burnham-Drownham next week to "talk" some sense into about him favouring the NHS as the government's preferred supplier of medical brollies.

But for now I am relaxing in wonderful snow swept Blacbury for the weekend. I'm running low on blogs but I'll survive.