At last - I've had a response to my begging letter to the Chancellor. It is quite positive, in that it says piss off politely. Some extracts:
Before I begin I must point out that I have heard every variation of jokes about my surname - it's like living in Blackadder Goes Forth sometimes - so I will not be signing this "Fond regards, Darling" or anything similar, just to get a cheap laugh.
Sorry it has taken me so long to reply but I have been busy sending out my thank you letters for Christmas presents. I welcome the arguments you outline about the umbrella sector saving the economy. I also found the 453 examples of evidence of people being saved a soaking by using a brolly compelling. If you could just gather up a further 14,536,456,789 similar samples then that should keep you quiet until the other lot are elected and have to worry about "solving society's ills" and all that nonsense.