The New Year starts with an irresistible urge to have a right good clearout. That's the problem with a rich festive diet I suppose. Still, having sluiced the decks I can tackle the business of sorting through some stuff in my office. And what a treasure trove.
In a locked cupboard I find four members of the board of trustees who should have been at the meeting when my appointment was ratified in 2000, bound and gagged. Also 14 finance directors.
I also find:
A gramophone with a stuck record on it, repeatedly saying "leadership".
A box containing the umbrella sector's shortfall in governance. Everyone else denied there was such a thing but I had it all along.
A brown envelope with £400 million in irrecoverable VAT inside.
A Lidl humble pie (still wrapped), a bumper sack of apologies (unopened) and an empty file labelled "Regrets".
14 brollies pinched from Hubert Carrington plus 5 billion unclaimed gamps from the Underground.
A tray of half eaten canapes.
Fatwas against other sector body leaders (unissued).
A 1972 A-Z street map (Oxford, naturally).
I still have 3 cupboards to go yet so who knows what else I will find. Would anyone like to hazard a guess?