Thursday, 7 January 2010

A right good clear out

The New Year starts with an irresistible urge to have a right good clearout. That's the problem with a rich festive diet I suppose. Still, having sluiced the decks I can tackle the business of sorting through some stuff in my office. And what a treasure trove.

In a locked cupboard I find four members of the board of trustees who should have been at the meeting when my appointment was ratified in 2000, bound and gagged. Also 14 finance directors.

I also find:

A gramophone with a stuck record on it, repeatedly saying "leadership".

A box containing the umbrella sector's shortfall in governance. Everyone else denied there was such a thing but I had it all along.

A brown envelope with £400 million in irrecoverable VAT inside.

A Lidl humble pie (still wrapped), a bumper sack of apologies (unopened) and an empty file labelled "Regrets".

14 brollies pinched from Hubert Carrington plus 5 billion unclaimed gamps from the Underground.

A tray of half eaten canapes.

Fatwas against other sector body leaders (unissued).

A 1972 A-Z street map (Oxford, naturally).

I still have 3 cupboards to go yet so who knows what else I will find. Would anyone like to hazard a guess?


  1. You didn't find an unopened package from Amazon, containing the book "Real Leadership" did you? Or the slightly more useful books "How to stop talking bollocks" and "How not to drag the credibility of the umbrella sector into the gutter"?

  2. No, I didn't but it's a good point. I ordered them some time ago but they never arrived. I did find, however, The Dummies Guide to Croissants (well thumbed) and a folio edition of TS Eliot's Old Possum's Book of Practical Gamps.