Monday, 28 September 2009

Oh I do like to be beside the seaside

The conference is in full swing in Brighton though I was disappointed when I set off to what I thought was a BUBB binge meeting last night expecting an all-paid for buffet and blow out to find out it was in fact a fringe meeting. Very fringe. It was in Bournemouth.

The one this morning was a bit better and Hector gave an OK I grudgingly concede kind of speech though the croissants were a perfect metaphor for New Labour. They looked good at first from a distance but turned out to be flaky, crumbling and stale.

I am hoping to catch Peter Mandelson's speech later at 666 o'clock. It will fascinating to hear what new evil and use of the dark arts he has planned as the election approaches. I had a bit of fun with him yesterday when I pick pocketed his security pass when we were playing in the arcades before the conference started, which meant he couldn't get in. Hilarious hearing him rasp "don't you know who I am?" at bemused security guards.

After that it will be more networking and then perhaps a club.


  1. Sir Sidney Harberbridge2 October 2009 at 12:47

    Dear Boggers

    I hope you might remember me from Oxford. I was not with you at St Bolocs (my interview with the Dean ended somewhat prematurely when I turned down his offer of a hot buttered crumpet. I was not averse to the crumpet, merely the method of ingestion that the Dean proposed).

    As I am sure you recall I spent three happy years at Gamps Poly (now the University of North by North West Oxfordshire) and I do vividly recall our exchange visits to St Bolocs. To this day I have never seen candles put to such imaginative uses, and I keep close to my bosom that prized M&S extendable, stained with wax. It still brings tears to my eyes. Happy days.

    Anyway Boggers (May I call you Boggers?) I am aware that you are being cruelly parodied, nay lampooned, by a vile imposter. This jackanapes (masquerading under the unlikely name of Bubb is trying to palm himself off on unsuspecting aficionados of your substantial column. The scoundrel produces a pale imitation of your epistles on a website claiming to belong to a bizarre bunch calling themselves ACEVO. The very idea that perfectly respectable charities would trouser up thousands each year to bankroll such a group is clearly absurd, but nonetheless this chappie continues to churn out all sorts of weird and wonderful drivel each week. Fortunately, no one ever comments on it, and I can only assume that the readership consists merely of Mrs Bubb and all the little Bubbas.

    A word to the wise old boy. I would imagine that a brief but to-the-point letter from a QC should do the trick. An Old Gampian of my acquaintance, Marvin Chevrolet, would be more than happy to oblige. Since his little run-in with the Thames Valley constabulary he is, strictly speaking, not actually a qualified legal practitioner anymore, but I doubt very much if this Bubb character would be any the wiser and Marv is, without doubt, very good value. A fivers worth of stamps and the use of your Boots Advantage Card for a couple of days should cover his costs quite nicely.

    Do let me know what you think…

    Your old chum

    Sir Sidney Harberbridge

  2. Sir Sidney you old bastard. How are you? Thanks for the advice. I will consider my legal position carefully.


  3. Sir Sidney Harberbridge3 October 2009 at 09:28

    Do so old boy, do so. With the simple sword of truth and the rusty shield of British fair play I have no doubt we will prevail. Sadly Mr Chevrolet is a little under the weather at the minute (a minor mix-up with his medication, could have happened to anyone) but I will report back the moment he regains consciousness.

    Keep the Faith!