Networking like crazy

By golly it has been a busy week here in NYC and I have lost track of all of the famous people I have glimpsed from the back of a packed room. I have chatted, mostly about the Brolly Investment Business, with failed politicians, scriptwriters, journalists, media moguls, 16th Century Spanish Infantas, jugglers, knife-grinders and binmen. I have dandered up schizoid sidewalks, mental motorways and bonkers B-roads in pursuit of knowledge and learning.

I even bumped into someone I know from Blacbury, which was a bit embarrassing as I still haven't returned the hedge trimmers I borrowed off him three years ago.

I have asked some pretty searching questions of speakers, on one occasion during the allotted Q&A slot rather than shouted out as a heckle. I have mastered the art of disruptive interruption and ruined a perfectly pleasant dinner with an off the cuff speech about it.

Oh, and I have sorted out the Middle East. It was certainly a lot easier than trying to broker peace between Hubert and myself.

The only disappointment has been Obama. His speech was frankly shite. He seemed more bothered about electrifying the room. While it is impressive that a President can change a plug and rewire an auditorium the crowd were hoping for some wise words rather than a practical demonstration of electrical wizardry.

I was pleased I got some press coverage in the UK for my comments urging the government to stop fannying about with consultation on the Umbrella Bank and just get on with it.I have said it before but it bears repeating that if the government stops to consult and seek public approval for everything it does we run the dangerous risk of becoming like a democracy.

It's funny really that I have such a strong desire to enter banking given my loathing of bankers. Indeed such is my deep distrust of them that I refused recently to entrust my precious Anglo-Saxon family heirlooms to them for safe-keeping. Instead I have buried them in a field in Staffordshire. I won't say which one in case someone goes digging around but they'll be a lot safer there than in a bank.