Monday, 7 September 2009

Does anyone want to see a picture of me eating breakfast in a kimono?

Another plate of raw marine-kill for breakfast is not a great way to start Saturday and I crave a nice bowl of Golden Grahams. And a croissant. You'd think a culture that has spawned some of the great technological developments would have found a way of cooking fish but no. However, my hotel has a lovely hot spring though there is nearly an incident when I expose myself to a bathful of females after wondering into the wrong room by mistake.

Then it is on to our 48th launch event in Sendai. More dreary questions on "issues" and I waffle on about the need for big ideas and innovative thinking unlike that displayed by some of my colleagues in the UK who manage to be both subversive and reactionary at the same time. I am still seething about an article in Canopy Finance where people seem to think my plans for the Umbrella Bank set up with unclaimed brollies is dangerous. Jesus, one person even mentioned it might be illegal. So what? We'll soon be running all the prisons and then we can get cracking on taking over the entire judicial system and then we'll decide what's legal and what isn't. Mentioning no names but Heston Mayday at Canopy Bank is going to get a right hander if he carries on whinging.

One of the young activists, who is also obviously a piss artist, draws my name in traditional Japanese characters and the translation means "broken record", which isn't entirely inappropriate.

Sendai is a lively town and Pepe Ohdearie takes me out on the lash. I somehow end up competing in an unlicensed sumo event and then it's onto a karaoke bar where my version of Umbrella-ella-ella is met with stunned appreciation.

Sunday is a quiet day and I have a long chat with Professor Nopun Intendedishiro (Nissan Institute of Japanese Studies at Oxford, naturally), the chair of JUBBLIES who has managed to wangle himself a nice little earner by appointing himself as its first paid chief executive, about future ways of working together.

I am frankly completely bored by all of this now and the healthy food is doing my noggin (and digestive system) in. So I decide to duck out of the rest of the launches and head back to Tokyo.

Today I am off to North Korea to try and have a word with the Dear Leader about his recent umbrella obsession. And I'll be over a Maccy D's Big Mac Meal (large) like a bad suit when I get to the airport.

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