Monday, 3 January 2011

Not banging on about my Knighthood

What a bloody weekend that was! I decided that the most appropriate way to celebrate my Knighthood (which I dedicate to BUBB and the whole voluntary sector and its work with the disadvantaged in society even though really it's all my own work) would be to drink loads of expensive champagne. And have a sardine sandwich so nothing too grand. Apart from the champagne.

Some people have expressed cynicism about the fact I am on the honours committee myself but I can assure everyone that I had no say in awarding myself my prize and rumours that I offered bribes to my colleagues and then locked those who refused to take them in a cupboard are untrue. Well, not untrue but certainly without credible evidence to support them. Because I have got rid of it all.

At least I can now finally clean all of the shit that has accumulated on my nose in my pursuit of this honour.

But work goes on. I was all over the media like a bad suit with my calls to castrate those rich bankers and use their bollocks to give the Bogg Society Bank some balls.

Although I am not going to mention my Knighthood at all I have I have been much on the blackberry over the last 2 days. I have been really touched by the vast number of emails and texts from people saying congrats, even folk who think I don't deserve it which just shows how two-faced people can be when it suits them - which isn't a criticism by the way, but something I heartily applaud. Someone even wrote me a limerick, which is appropriate given the fact my Irish ancestors the Peat-Boggs live their lives in limerick form.

There once was a young man named Bogg
Who finally became a big cog
He was knighted, good golly
By the Queen's poshest brolly
And then got stuck into the grog

I am far too modest to repeat some of the other glowing tributes I received and no doubt my spoofer, Stephen Bubb (or Sir Stephen as I expect he will predictably and lamely restyle himself), will keep me cut down to size should I get too carried away.


  1. Could you kindly provide me with some advice ?
    As a leading figure in the charity world (supposedly) representing the views of my membership ( in truth they haven't really been consulted on this ) I wish to write to the Chancellor of the Exchequer and ask him to tax those nasty bankers a bit more. I am hoping to show that I know what I am talking about but I don't know how to spell "Sue Ryder" - even though I am telling him they are one of my major members and I know all about them.
    Could you possibly help me out ? They only taught me networking at Oxford, nothing useful like spelling though !

    Sir Bumble of Heep.

  2. PS.

    No hurry for you to respond as I see Georgie O is away on his hols in the bankers playground on the Swiss Ski Slopes, so he probably won't even get to see my letter before it heads for the the filing receptacle in the corner of Sir Humphrey's office.
    ( I hope these banker chappies don't have long memories as I quite fancy a few well paid non- executive directorships when I am finished here. Well the title has got to earn my keep for me somehow !)

    Toodle Pip !

    Sir Bumble of Heep.

  3. PPS

    You're ok - panic over ! Someone got back to me during my luchtime o' booze break and I've changed the " i " I had put in Rider for a " y " now.
    Phew ! lucky to have got away with that one without it being spotted - someone might have thought I was incompetent or illiterate - or even both !!

    Syr Bumble of Heep

  4. I have no idea who Sue Rider is/was but I do know that Steve Ryder carries a golf umbrella around with him when presenting things like the Rider Cup on TV.

    The only other rider I know of is Shaun Rider who led the seminal 90s Madchester beat combo the Gampy Mondays.

    Oh and I sometime have a ryder when I appear on the conference speech circuit by demanding cava, croissants and couscous in my dressing room to refresh me before I go on stage.

    Re bankers and investment city types. They are all bastards apart from the ones who sponsor things BUBB does or sit on the BIB committee - newly elected MPs in the Worcestershire area for example.

    I have no double standards. Well, I do, but I have so many that not to have one would in itself be etc etc

    I will blog about my own threatening missive to Osborne with a silver spoon in his mouth later.

  5. I hope you specify the yellow grains of coucous only from now on, and 47 sultanas: no more, no less...