Monday 8 June 2009

Welcome to the new umbrella minister

From: robinbogg@bubb.org.uk
To: fabjobsworth@bubb.org.uk
Subject: Blog on new minister

Fab - can you do me a favour? I need to stick a blog up welcoming the new umbrella minister. To save time could you just do something that cut and pastes our old press releases welcoming whoever government has reluctantly palmed us off with? Just replace Gavin Lennon with Veronica Gubbins Squif on the bit that says we look forward to working with such a committed champion of brollies etc etc blah blah blah and stick Lennon's name in where Hal Pope's was on the bit about thanking the outgoing chap for their hard work over the 5 minutes they have been stuck with the brief.

If you "track change" the document you will probably see the names of God Megagrand, Dave Miggins, Victoria MacColumbo, Veronica Osprey et al contained within its history.

I don't know much about Gubbins Squif - the fact she only went to a polytechnic isn't promising, naturally, and that she was once Gordon Brown's tie adviser is worth bugger all as he heads ever closer to the political scrapheap. She did once work at the League Against Cruel Sports Involving Umbrellas but that is her only tenuous connection with sector. Still I expect we'll have to pretend to work with her and see what happens.

I am more encouraged by the move last week of Vanessa Doublechin to become minister of the cabinet office as I used to know her years ago when we both attended a nightschool class in dealing with the Italian media. She replaces Ian Scorn, who has moved to the Treasury, and as an advocate of the umbrella bank could also prove to be a great ally.

Anyway, Fab, if you could turn the above into some sort of blog that would be great. We can't keep labouring this dictation joke so let's make sure this one is a good 'un, eh?

Regs

The Gaffer

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