Awake very early today to do a radio interview. Torture. I mean it. It is not exaggerating or demeaning to prisoners in some of the world's most oppressive regimes to to say that speaking on live national radio after 3 hours sleep is on a par to genital electrodes.
I am on the Yesterday programme. They want to talk to me about some research BUBB has done into public trust in umbrellas. Traditionally, as a means of sheltering from rainfall, brollies enjoy high levels of public trust with only buildings scoring higher. But we must not be complacent as there is a huge gap in perception about what the public thinks brollies do (open, shelter, close) and what they actually do (flower, deflect water gracefully, retreat).
I bang on about trust for a bit and how we must ensure we maintain the public's good faith. This is pretty ironic really when you consider the deep mistrust I have for the other membership organisations in the umbrella sector, mentioning no names Carrington and Twirley.
It seems to go well and I get a message from one of our members who says that waking up to my dulcet tones was one of the single most frightening experiences of her life.
On the way out of the studio I bump into a couple of MP acquaintances of mine. They aren't there to talk about umbrella awareness - but I get the chance to fill them in. Literally. I still haven't forgiven the bastards for blackballing me from the photography club at Oxford, naturally, and a good pasting with my trusty commuting gamp soon evens up that score.
Then it is onto a meeting with my mentor. In the bath. Seamus O'Driscoll has been mentoring me for 6 years and I find his support and feedback invaluable. Aromatherapy candles and a superb radox helps aid our discussion as we mull over the future and dissect staff. This gets a bit messy and I hope Fab Jobsworth understands that we meant no harm removing some of his internal organs during our water play. He is, after all, used to me sticking the knife in...