As you may or may not know, I am a bit of a Twitter fan. I tweet, I twitter, I am a twitterer, I am a twat. I find the 140 character format perfect for disseminating my own warped world view. And thankfully my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb hasn't yet found his way onto Twitter so I can carry on regardless without fear of lampoonery and reprisals. Although Hector Rule is often skulking around causing trouble, but I digress.
Yesterday, some terribly important social media event - Nerd Fans of Parapluies (NFP) Social Media (#nfpsm) gathered together some of the biggest zealots for social media, those already hopelessly addicted to it, for a gathering that took preaching to the converted to record levels. But I was happy to add my expertise. Remotely of course. I wouldn't want to actually meet any of these people. Surely the advantage of social media is that you don't have to actually physically get together at an event but can do it all from the comfort of your own home or on the bus. Or while tending your strawberries.
Amidst offers of tupperware to store my couscous in from the guru's guru Nick Hoover (@robmydyson) (who may or may not be me) I was asked by Jennie Sparrow (@nickiewren) to compile my list of top 10 Twitter tips to share with delegates. 5 minutes later I had dashed them off. I now reproduce them here for those of you who like to have a twot from time to time. I hope a social media great like Halifax Loch (@howardlake) will find them useful next time he does a presentation.
1) Engage with people even if you suspect they might be a bit weird in real life
2) Be careful how you type hashtags as a mistake could completely change the meaning of something #nfpms
3) Don't start a top 10 list you may struggle to finish
4) Take every opportunity to make The Codfather joke when #fishfilms inevitably rolls by. Again
5) Don't bombard followers with top 10 lists
6) Don't go to tweet ups. These people may seem OK online but in real life...sheeesh
7) Competition is not a disease..oh hang on...that's not a Twitter tip but a mantra from MY report on the NHS
7) Fawn after celebrities then get annoyed if they don't respond to your tweet out of the million they get
8) Heed #coleslaw (named after respected journalist @MrHarryCole) "If you can't say it in 140 don't bother" even if it means cutting tw
9) Mind your fucking language
10) RT as many of the tips in top 10 Twitter tips lists as possible. Or else
11) Learn to count to 140 (and 10)
12) Don't dash off top 10 Twitter tips lists in 5 minutes
PS Social media/geography quiz question. Use Google to give me the names of the 6 Great Lakes.