Tuesday 5 May 2009

Mayday mayday

Not a great weekend. While you may have been enjoying the bank holiday by pruning the dog or taking your roses for a walk I was stuck at work. In hindsight my decision to lock myself in my office as a precaution against swine flu might have been a bit dramatic but you can't be too careful. However, it does mean I missed my DJ slot at the Blacbury bowls club gig and also the traditional prancing round the maypole on Blacbury village green yesterday. Indeed I had forgotten entirely it was a bank holiday at first and the penny only dropped when I realised that the reason none of my staff (Oxford, naturally) had turned up for work was not because they had all been struck down by the media's favourite porcine strain of a generally treatable and non-fatal illness.

I have not been entirely idle as there is always plenty to do. I have prepared a number of papers for James on subjects that neither I nor BUBB has anything to do with and have been working on plans for my new invention, a boggy (a portable loo in a buggy with integrated rain protection elements).

For those worried about Barkles, fear not, I sent Fab round to feed him (and to get me some clean undies) on Friday.

The government's leaflet should arrive later and I can hopefully then work out what I should do to safely leave the office for a clutch of meetings I have planned this week. This leaflet is a typically British response to a crisis. The important stage in preventing any potential pandemic is early on so what do we do? Send out a leaflet a few days after the scare breaks. I hope they're not using the postal service or we'll all be lucky to see it at all.

Will anyone read it anyway or will it merely be swept away on a tide of bad pizza and roof repair gumph? And what happens if any of the delivery agents have got swine flu? This would merely increase the problem. Perhaps reading this leaflet is not such a good idea. They'd have been much better having Susan Boyle sing out the precautionary information on Britain' s Got Talent as more people would have ended up knowing what to do.

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