Brilliant stuff from my deputy, Hector Rule. Quite without my permission he has written something for Brolly Weekly that puts a positive spin on the budget. We all know it was rubbish for umbrellas but Hector has superbly made the most of it by claiming it is in fact a triumph for umbrellas and by implication that must be down to BUBB's lobbying.
Without a hint of irony he has the chutzpah to claim that we have moved on from demanding and expecting huge dollops of wonga to a more sophisticated outcome (such as consultation), not 5 minutes after we were demanding huge dollops of wonga - £500m to be exact.
Astonishing work. With such adroit manoeuvring he'll go a long way will Hector. All the way to the top. Hang on - HE'S AFTER MY JOB!!!