I was up in Oxford, naturally, for a few days staying with my nephew Alex who is doing his PhD As I told Alex I knew Vanessa before she was even born! Never really off duty I get an email from the office to see if I want to respond to a loony report from the ineptly named "Institute of Gamponomic Affairs". About sock puppets. This individually and corporate funded sock puppet brolly organisation are whinging about state funded sock puppet brollies (though brollies make terrible sock puppets, and sock puppets make even worse umbrellas).
Apparently state funded sock puppets were used to further Labour priorities and should be stopped, which is no way the conclusion of a right leaning sock puppet seeking to further its own political priorities from beneath the canopy of supposed independence. They make the assumption that because they receive no government money they are automatically impartial and of course it is wholly correct to say that the cash of wealthy individuals or corporates has NEVER influenced anything EVER so they must be unbiased.
I decide can't be arsed to respond to something so silly as it only encourages them, a philosophy I am pleased my own opponents don't always adhere to.
I met up with the new Cabinet Secretary on Friday evening. As I said to Jammy Strawman as he ushered me into his office quickly in case anyone noticed he is my 54th Cabinet Secretary. I only hope he wasn't accidentally given briefing notes about my spoofer Sir Stephen Bubb by mistake. An urbane, smart and likeable person I am not. But Jammy is and holds an important position of influence. I have always found it good to develop strong relations with the top of the civil service by brown-nosing shamelessly about them being urbane, smart and likeable in my blog even if they are not.
And tonight, will it be the night when I finally win the outstanding leadership award at the Canopy Awards at the Gampsvenor Hotel in London? I have a spontaneous 4 hour speech prepared just in case. Though no doubt the organisers and judges will wriggle out of honouring me by saying I can just share the award Sir Hubert won a while back when I move into his box room later this year. If you do see me tonight please say hello and remember the code word - "peerage".