Monday, 9 April 2012

Easing into retirement?

Back from Tunisia in time for the Boat Race but the least said about that the better (see previous post). And I think I have found something to do should BUBB ever finally get rid of me. I have been thinking about retirement a lot lately and BUBB is launching a scheme to provide people with shelter from rain in their own age.

But I need to think beyond umbrellas. Everyone knows that the Utopia for self important troughers, freeloaders and junketeers is Europe. That is where the real gravy is. I like gravy and have been eying up how much gravy I can get if I land a role of gravy taster in Brussels. But there is a risk that there soon may not be enough gravy. Some countries such as Greece have been leaking gravy. And the Germans want to control the supply of gravy. Perhaps gravy does not offer the promised richness of flavour it once did.

So I am refocusing on cous. So good they named it twice.

A trip to Tunisia has convinced me that it could be where my future lies (assuming Cameron doesn't manage to ride out the endless tawdry scandals long enough to give me my peerage). Especially if the EU continues to expand and the North African countries are encouraged to join.

I spent a pleasant week at an all inclusive hotel, with couscous on tap. And I am convinced it is how I want to ease into retirement. It is amazing how people behave when everything is free, with as much food and drink as you could desire. It actually makes them ruder and expect even more.

I wish I could turn this into a metaphor for the British political system. Or society. Or my own career but I can't.

What was pleasant was how many people seemed to know who I was. In the streets strangers kept approaching saying "don't you remember me? I am a waiter at your hotel. I have no money as I have lost my wallet. Can you lend me some and I will pay you back later". Very careless these waiters as it seemed to happen a lot and cost me a fortune, especially as I was never able to find them back at the hotel to get my money back. If I was cynical I would suspect a scam.

So to save time and hassle I just gave all of the waiters at my hotel that I did see some money in advance to help them out in case they lost their wallet. I'm not stupid.

And here are some holiday snaps as I know everyone likes looking at them. They even have a drink named after me in Tunisia!

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