Keep Sunday special

Sundays are sacred. I love nothing better on Sundays than lazing around in my y-fronts in Blacbury, reading the papers or nipping out for a huge roast dinner with Barkles. It is a day of rest and reflection and no one should have to work.

Indeed when I become Archbishop of Canterbury on a part-time non-exec basis I will be campaigning against anyone working on a Sunday, least of all church people.

Obviously, some folk will still have to graft on Sunday. Newspaper shop owners, roast dinner chefs, landlords of course. And Doctors in case I overindulge. Why should they get a day off? All those extra budget projections they will soon have to do won't calculate itself.

But no one else.

Even umbrellas. Even though recent scientific research indicates that statistically it is just as likely to rain on a Sunday as any other day.

Which is why the government's plans to extend Sunday trading hours during the Olympics are a concern. Clearly the best way to combat the rising tide of militant secularism the Tories complain about is to change the Sunday trading laws in favour of business when it suits them. Cameron talks a good "we are a Christian country" game but that can be ignored during the Olympics because business matters more. The one true religion.

I must confess it was a nice touch by the government to announce plans to steamroller Sunday trading laws on a Sunday, not least because it meant the Keep Sunday Special zealots had to do loads of work condemning the plans, which must have been a real conundrum for them.

Actually, I can see the point of the Tory argument. It would be dreadful if people turned up to the Olympics and couldn't buy stuff early on a Sunday evening. What sort of message would that send to the rest of the World? It would say we are a lazy vaguely Christian country which has forgotten the true meaning of the Olympics (generating cash) in favour of some woolly notions of faith. We need to send a very strong message to other religions that we are a Christian country and anyone who wants to live here has to plan their shopping better except when a major sporting festival is on. And any Muslim extremists planning on blowing Lord Coe up need to be aware that expensive security will be just as rigorous on Sunday as any other day.