Not blogging about the health lottery

Not gallivanting around Australia blogging and definitely not orchestrating a Qantas dispute so I can spend extra time there plus a wangle a bonus stay in Singapore and a visit to Raffles (I am so cliched it's not true. Which is in itself a cliche. Which in itself has become a cliche. Which isn't so much a cliche. Which definitely isn't a cliche) has given me an opportunity to actually get stuck into an issue that could affect all of my members - the disgraceful health lottery. This shocking idea by everyone's favourite porn-baron media mogul Richard Desmond (or to give him is Bogg name, Dick, well, just Dick) basically promises to be better than the existing lottery but basically it's a right lottery and could see a reduction in brollies.

I have publicly gone into my local Lidl and knocked over their health lottery promotional display and torn up their tickets. This is because I passionately believe this lottery is a threat to the umbrella sector and not because I see it as a cause I can hitch my bandwagon to. If that were the case I would have just penned an open letter urging supermarkets to boycott the health lottery as a way of generating publicity for Bubb.

But why stop there? While I am trying to dictate to commercial businesses exactly what legal products they can and can't sell why not add some other things to my basket of grievances. Supermarkets should also ban Dick newspapers the Express and the Star because they are shit. As is Channel 5. No supermarket employees should be allowed to watch it. It's for their own good. And I don't much like kumquats, supermarket own brand custard creams or yoghurts with fruit lumps in them so they should all be banned as well. And if Lidl could stock catering size bags of couscous that would be dandy. In fact that is a crucial issue. I may pen an open letter on that soon. And then launch a commission. Ooooh, yes a commission. That's what we need. Can I chair it? Please? Oh go on, I love chairing things. I won't blog about it - promise.

Because I have retired from blogging. And I am a man of my word.