Wednesday, 2 November 2011

Not blogging about the health lottery

Not gallivanting around Australia blogging and definitely not orchestrating a Qantas dispute so I can spend extra time there plus a wangle a bonus stay in Singapore and a visit to Raffles (I am so cliched it's not true. Which is in itself a cliche. Which in itself has become a cliche. Which isn't so much a cliche. Which definitely isn't a cliche) has given me an opportunity to actually get stuck into an issue that could affect all of my members - the disgraceful health lottery. This shocking idea by everyone's favourite porn-baron media mogul Richard Desmond (or to give him is Bogg name, Dick, well, just Dick) basically promises to be better than the existing lottery but basically it's a right lottery and could see a reduction in brollies.

I have publicly gone into my local Lidl and knocked over their health lottery promotional display and torn up their tickets. This is because I passionately believe this lottery is a threat to the umbrella sector and not because I see it as a cause I can hitch my bandwagon to. If that were the case I would have just penned an open letter urging supermarkets to boycott the health lottery as a way of generating publicity for Bubb.

But why stop there? While I am trying to dictate to commercial businesses exactly what legal products they can and can't sell why not add some other things to my basket of grievances. Supermarkets should also ban Dick newspapers the Express and the Star because they are shit. As is Channel 5. No supermarket employees should be allowed to watch it. It's for their own good. And I don't much like kumquats, supermarket own brand custard creams or yoghurts with fruit lumps in them so they should all be banned as well. And if Lidl could stock catering size bags of couscous that would be dandy. In fact that is a crucial issue. I may pen an open letter on that soon. And then launch a commission. Ooooh, yes a commission. That's what we need. Can I chair it? Please? Oh go on, I love chairing things. I won't blog about it - promise.

Because I have retired from blogging. And I am a man of my word.


  1. The Express and Star is not that good either. Not enough adverts for rain wear

  2. I'd like to see chicken banned on the grounds that it is tastelees shit.

  3. I was hoping someone would complain about this. I worked for the disgusting organisation that is Lidl for two years at an awful store where we were routinely abused by thick, lazy managers. one day we were told to attend a staff meeting where the manager explained that the shop would be selling Health Lottery tickets. but not only that, as we were told we had to try and "push" these lottery tickets on every customer, because "it will bring a lot of extra income to the store". since the shop is always poorly staffed so the nasty company can save money, people have no choice but to wait in long queues, and asking them if they want to buy a lottery ticket seems like a waste of time: if someone wanted one they would ask for one. So for a while i ignored the request to "push" these tickets on to customers and went about my job as usual: polite, courteous and helpful to every shopper i served. if anyone asked about the lottery i would explain it to them briefly, but after a while one of the managers (who love moaning about things because it helps them pass the time and makes it look like they're doing a job when they're not) was hanging around my till area and immediately had a go at me for not forcing lottery tickets on people. so begrudgingly i started asking customers "any health lottery tickets?" in a non-forceful way (and i only did this when there were managers hanging around). so the same duty manager who told me off the first time (and who loves feeling like he has authority) moaned at me AGAIN for not being "persuasive" enough. the management even set up a competition amongst staff to see who could sell the most tickets. so when one cashier finishes their shift and you start yours you get told by the manager "you have to try and beat 28 tickets"... if you fail to sell an "acceptable" amount of tickets then you are moaned at, something which the managers take great pleasure in doing. some people do cave in to the pressure and say "oh go on then" but you can tell they've been made to feel pressured.

    so that's the truth. we were always told we weren't allowed to discuss Lidl's business or policies with any customers, and now you see the reason why. They are a disgusting company who make their money from underpaying staff, forcing them to work shifts that they don't want to work, and also depriving them of sleep and proper breaks.

    i quit the store in May after two years of worsening employment conditions. another employee left "due to a combination of the stress of working for such a clown outfit of comapny, very poor management verging on bullying, and genrally being regaurded as sub-human by my employer."

    it's about time people realised that Lidl is not a friendly company who are being so kind to the public with their discounts... they may sell some products for a lower price, but they are cheaply made by staff on low pay and in poor conditions, and the staff who work in the shops are made to do excessive amounts of work and aren't allowed to finish their shift until the manager says so... therefore everything is rushed and done to a poor standard.

    They want to operate and make money in our country (taking away trade from decent, honest homegrown businesses in the process) yet they have no respect and a complete disregard for our employment laws.

    Time to boycott Lidl.