Friday, 13 March 2009

A load of meatballs

Still in Malmo and the conference draws to a close today. Frankly it has been a bit boring - a lot of guff about parapluies and regenscherms, paraguas and ομπρέλαs. I am all for learning from others but I realise that there is nothing the Europeans can teach us Brits about brollies with their fancy designs and impractical technology. I am also a bit peeved that I wasn't asked to speak. And if I see one more kottsboller I will scream.

One worrying development came out of a session given by European Umbrella Commissioner, Gampmeister Ella Umber. Over the years the UK has had to fight some bizarre directives from the bumbling brollycrats in Brussels. BUBB led the charge to successfully counter the proposed size restriction on the little plastic bit that fits over the spoke, for example. But the latest piece of Eurobabble nonsense really takes the bourbon. They want to standardise umbrella handles and make them all straight, thus signalling the death knell for millions of brollies with curved handles. This is a idea is plain bananas and BUBB will fight it all the way.

My plane leaves in a couple of hours and then it is off to Blacbury for the weekend, after picking up Barkles. I hope he is OK - I couldn't find anyone to look after him so he has been chained to a lamp post in Brockwell Park for the last couple of days, with a big juicy bone.

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