So. The labour leadership election should be interesting. First Rabid and then God Megagrand announced their candidacy in the contest for their late Father's posthumous love and admiration. And Fred Bollocks will probably also stand.
I bloody love God from his time as brolly minister. I couldn't be happier with anyone else in charge of Labour other than perhaps James Purnell. Some people have said that the perfect leader would be someone who combines the best bits of Rabid and God. Which would mean telling Rabid to piss off and retaining all of God.
The fraternal battle should make for some interesting family get togethers. And you can expect to see many variations of that comment in the press over the coming weeks.
Saturday, 15 May 2010
Friday, 14 May 2010
Back to the day job - plugging stuff for mates
Hard not to get hypnotised by the government slowly unfolding (as it doubtless will no matter how many dodgy constitutional locks they seek to secure it with) but work goes on as usual.
Yes, you guessed it, another BUBB taskforce! We will be drawing up proposals for less stringent regulation of the brolly sector. We'll be producing a 4,000 page document full of rules about cutting red tape. We want to facilitate a culture of openness and transparency such as we illustrated when pig-headedly refusing to publish details of my expenses last year.
There are all sorts of people we are pally with on the taskforce to ensure an impartial view that doesn't simply take it as red that regulation is excessive without exploring why that might be including ex staff members, chairs and sponsors of some of our events.
This is not Umbrella Commission bashing I should add though we will be extremely critical of the level of regulation in the umbrella sector. Which is overseen by the Umbrella Commission. So it is inevitable that they will get bashed. With a great big brolly.
We want to remove duplication. So we will be setting up another taskforce with the same members to explore this further.
We want to remove duplication. So we will be setting up another taskforce with the same members to explore this further.
On a different note, I see that my mate Donald Holding is headhunting for some new roles in the brolly sector. So I will give him a free plug to ensure he gets his commission. Usually, an organisation such as Feudal would have to pay market rate for placing recruitment advertising on a blog linked to an umbrella body's website as the readership among potential candidates is huge. But I'll just simply do it for free and sod the financial benefits to my members. As long as Donald can still afford top bubbly, eh?
Yes, you guessed it, another BUBB taskforce! We will be drawing up proposals for less stringent regulation of the brolly sector. We'll be producing a 4,000 page document full of rules about cutting red tape. We want to facilitate a culture of openness and transparency such as we illustrated when pig-headedly refusing to publish details of my expenses last year.
There are all sorts of people we are pally with on the taskforce to ensure an impartial view that doesn't simply take it as red that regulation is excessive without exploring why that might be including ex staff members, chairs and sponsors of some of our events.
This is not Umbrella Commission bashing I should add though we will be extremely critical of the level of regulation in the umbrella sector. Which is overseen by the Umbrella Commission. So it is inevitable that they will get bashed. With a great big brolly.
We want to remove duplication. So we will be setting up another taskforce with the same members to explore this further.
We want to remove duplication. So we will be setting up another taskforce with the same members to explore this further.
On a different note, I see that my mate Donald Holding is headhunting for some new roles in the brolly sector. So I will give him a free plug to ensure he gets his commission. Usually, an organisation such as Feudal would have to pay market rate for placing recruitment advertising on a blog linked to an umbrella body's website as the readership among potential candidates is huge. But I'll just simply do it for free and sod the financial benefits to my members. As long as Donald can still afford top bubbly, eh?
Rick T'Hurd. I love you
Always have. Always thought you'd make a great brolly minister and don't listen to those who tell you otherwise. Plus I always had utmost respect for your Dad, Doglas (or Dog for short).
Now then. Can you make establishing the Brolly Investment Bank your first priority please? If you could cobble something together by next Wednesday I would be very grateful.
Cheers, Robin.
Now then. Can you make establishing the Brolly Investment Bank your first priority please? If you could cobble something together by next Wednesday I would be very grateful.
Cheers, Robin.
Thursday, 13 May 2010
Hurry up Cameron
Who is the brolly minister? Eh? I am sat here nervously poised to rush out a sycophantic congratulatory letter to the lucky person. I cannot let Hubert beat me again.
Good news that my Great Aunt Maud has become head of the Gampinet Office, which is in charge of the brolly brief. But we need to know who the person with day-to-day responsibility is so I can start haranguing them about the sodding Brolly Investment Bank.
Good news that my Great Aunt Maud has become head of the Gampinet Office, which is in charge of the brolly brief. But we need to know who the person with day-to-day responsibility is so I can start haranguing them about the sodding Brolly Investment Bank.
Wednesday, 12 May 2010
Coalition policy outrage
Just read the detail of the coalition policy document. No mention of brollies at all. So much for all of our tongue bidets between Osborne's sweet cheeks. But much more seriously, there is a plan to look at a fully elected House of Lords. Which will mean no back door people's peerage for me. BUGGER BUGGER BUGGER.
Thankfully Hubert Carrington has done the only thing you can in times of crisis. He's called a brolly sector meeting. And called it a summit. We can decide our response to this nonsense then.
Thankfully Hubert Carrington has done the only thing you can in times of crisis. He's called a brolly sector meeting. And called it a summit. We can decide our response to this nonsense then.
BIG BREAKING NEWS
According to Alistair Campbell's blog we are in for a boom time for brollies. He says: "Enjoy the sunshine. It won't last! Rainfall levels have been lower on average under Labour than Tory governments. Not a lot of people know that."
Now assuming he is telling the truth (and why would he of all people try and put a spin on anything) then we can rejoice in the soggy glory of Tory rule (especially if there are any wets left in the party). And we must pray that being in a coalition won't dampen the dampening effect.
Now assuming he is telling the truth (and why would he of all people try and put a spin on anything) then we can rejoice in the soggy glory of Tory rule (especially if there are any wets left in the party). And we must pray that being in a coalition won't dampen the dampening effect.
Thank f**k that's over
Or has it all only just begun? Yep, we have a coalition as Clegg has sold out his party for the chance of polishing Cameron's shoes and buttering his crumpets.
I have been in Spain on a lads holiday in Torremolinos with Fab Jobsworth and Pepe Ohdearie. (We have met plenty of interesting people and I have photos of me with some chaps in basques). However, we have watched events unfold on BBC News 24's excellent rolling coverage which they have had on in the English pub here.
The way rolling news works is that it tries to second guess news and calls it news while waiting for the news it is trying to second guess.The main enjoyment was watching the ups and downs of Nick Robinson's mood. It's a good job he isn't the main political correspondent for an organisation that is supposed to be impartial.
He almost burst into tears when Brown resigned as Labour leader in an attempt to boost a Lab Lib Dem coalition and he kept banging on about "unelected PMs" with all the authority of someone who doesn't understand the system. I certainly never voted for Nick Robinson telling me what to think. He was so not in control of the facts that he claimed he had a full head of hair at one point.
In his defence he said: "It's not fair. I had only practiced what to say about Cameron winning not a hung parliament." To make things worse Dimbwit couldn't go to the toilet without seeking Nick's opinion. But all was well when things came to a climax and I bet he had a quiet moment with himself when Cameron was confirmed as leader.
Cameron's speech on the steps of No. 10 was interesting. Basically, he gushed 5 days worth of pent up rhetorical bollocks but made no mention at all of brollies.
I don't like coalition politics as it makes it harder to schmooze properly. We have been considering it in the umbrella sector. Hubert Carrington at NCVO claims to be the top brolly Daddy but hasn't got enough members to claim an overall majority over me. So he has been promising NAVCA all sorts of hollow promises in the hope that Dylan Twirley can prop up his leadership. We did have our own talks with NAVCA ourselves but they broke down because I don't like Dylan Twirley after he rubbished my plans to run prisons.
Things are going to be tough for the brolly sector as we try and work out which party we need to butter up but the government's top priority has to be sorting out my pet projects - the Bogg Society Bank and making sure Umbrellabuilders' brollies aren't diverted elsewhere. This is far more important than emergency budgets and electoral reform and stuff that everyone is bothered about.
I suspect next week I will be busy. Whinging.
Of course we still await the announcement of a brolly minister. It will probably be some unknown Lib Dem stooge. I was hoping for Eliza Maynotbetrusted but she has been made Staying At Home While Hubbie Goes to Work Secretary and Minister of Tokenism. But I am pleased it is nearly all over. It gives me the chance to get all whimsical about my approaching 10th anniversary at BUBB. More on this later.
I have been in Spain on a lads holiday in Torremolinos with Fab Jobsworth and Pepe Ohdearie. (We have met plenty of interesting people and I have photos of me with some chaps in basques). However, we have watched events unfold on BBC News 24's excellent rolling coverage which they have had on in the English pub here.
The way rolling news works is that it tries to second guess news and calls it news while waiting for the news it is trying to second guess.The main enjoyment was watching the ups and downs of Nick Robinson's mood. It's a good job he isn't the main political correspondent for an organisation that is supposed to be impartial.
He almost burst into tears when Brown resigned as Labour leader in an attempt to boost a Lab Lib Dem coalition and he kept banging on about "unelected PMs" with all the authority of someone who doesn't understand the system. I certainly never voted for Nick Robinson telling me what to think. He was so not in control of the facts that he claimed he had a full head of hair at one point.
In his defence he said: "It's not fair. I had only practiced what to say about Cameron winning not a hung parliament." To make things worse Dimbwit couldn't go to the toilet without seeking Nick's opinion. But all was well when things came to a climax and I bet he had a quiet moment with himself when Cameron was confirmed as leader.
Cameron's speech on the steps of No. 10 was interesting. Basically, he gushed 5 days worth of pent up rhetorical bollocks but made no mention at all of brollies.
I don't like coalition politics as it makes it harder to schmooze properly. We have been considering it in the umbrella sector. Hubert Carrington at NCVO claims to be the top brolly Daddy but hasn't got enough members to claim an overall majority over me. So he has been promising NAVCA all sorts of hollow promises in the hope that Dylan Twirley can prop up his leadership. We did have our own talks with NAVCA ourselves but they broke down because I don't like Dylan Twirley after he rubbished my plans to run prisons.
Things are going to be tough for the brolly sector as we try and work out which party we need to butter up but the government's top priority has to be sorting out my pet projects - the Bogg Society Bank and making sure Umbrellabuilders' brollies aren't diverted elsewhere. This is far more important than emergency budgets and electoral reform and stuff that everyone is bothered about.
I suspect next week I will be busy. Whinging.
Of course we still await the announcement of a brolly minister. It will probably be some unknown Lib Dem stooge. I was hoping for Eliza Maynotbetrusted but she has been made Staying At Home While Hubbie Goes to Work Secretary and Minister of Tokenism. But I am pleased it is nearly all over. It gives me the chance to get all whimsical about my approaching 10th anniversary at BUBB. More on this later.
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